The prestigious "Pointless Solutions To Nonexistent Problems" contest

[Iroscato]

Welcome to the first PSTNeP contest, where we showcase the most ridiculous and purposeless products or services guaranteed to reduce the misery of those pesky little annoyances that you never even knew you had!

Coke takes an impressive early lead here, with the release of the Selfie Bottle. This revolution in artificial beverage containment

contains a built-in camera at its base and includes a sensor to detect when the bottle tilts 70 degrees during a sip, at which point the camera will snap a photo of the user mid-drink.

Even better, you can share the photos of yourself enjoying a Coke on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat.

“It really does the trick and makes the partygoers more present and active during the event, knowing they can share their special moments just by drinking,” the company’s marketing agency told the Drum.

As inane inventions go, this impressive specimen is definitely a front-runner. However, as at least one pundit - not excluding myself - notes, the gimmick's potential application in porn circles ("Taste the feeling!") may threaten to lose the Atlanta-based company valuable points as a wholly pointless solution and thereby cost them dear in the long run.

Nooope. That alone is enough to make me want to reboot the human race and start from scratch.