Are you still grieving? You are not alone.

[Mermaid]

---

If you say something racist, you risk being called a racist.

You risk being called a racist almost regardless of what you do and say nowadays. You have to acknowledge that it's offensive to call someone a racist. So it's a hard sell to say you are in favor of respectful dialog and yet also in favor of calling lots of people racists. I'm not a racist at all, yet I can hardly criticize Islam without being called a racist online, which offends me greatly. So you can't be in favor of respectful dialog and call people racist. It's not respectful dialog. That's why free speech and political correctness will always be at odds with one another.

Free speech = freedom from being persecuted or arrested for speaking freely. That's it. It is not freedom from criticism.

Have you ever thought about what you are saying that is causing people to call you racist? Consider that what you are saying may actually be racist.
That being said, you can't say anything without offending SOMEONE. That's just the way it works. In this age of rapid communication and information, that's only going to be amplified.