Are you still grieving? You are not alone.

[SteelCurtain]

Many people wouldn't put those things that way because that's not how they view them at all. If you stop and talk to some of these people, you may find that to them: 

1. ...it isn't about "gays not having rights." It's about keeping the definition of the word "marriage" to mean not just 2 people, but 1 man and 1 woman.

But this is denying people rights based on personal beliefs. I get that they believe that, and I can agree to disagree with them on that point. But putting your personal religious beliefs into law at the cost of equality and the rights of others, is, to me, not tolerable.

2. ...it isn't about "police killing black ppl without consequence." It's about them believing that more often than not, it's done in a case of legitimate self defense. 

But the problem lies when it's clearly not self defense. The problem lies in the idea that the conviction rate for police murder is near zero. The problem lies when we find police lethal force acceptable in all situations, and any questions raised in opposition are met with accusations of anti-police mentality.

3. ...it isn't about "poor people or women being deprived of reproductive choices." It's about believing that all people, no matter how small, have an inherent right to life above any other right. 

I can get with you here. I wasn't necessarily just talking about abortion. I was also talking about the defunding of Planned Parenthood and the insistence on teaching abstinence only in schools in the south.

4. ...it isn't about "deporting 11 million people." It's about regulating our boarders and following the law. 

I get that point. And I have no problem with properly regulating our borders as we can, and following the law. I am not against deporting illegal immigrants. This is another one of those false dichotomies. I am talking about the rhetoric of spending billions of dollars on a wall and a gestapo to go around rounding up illegal immigrants.

5. ...is isn't about "supporting white nationalism." It's about voting for whom they genuinely believed was the lesser of 2 evils, Trump. 

I understand that. But in order to do that, you had to weigh white nationalist tweets, statements, and policy proposals from the candidate himself and decide that white nationalism was is some proportion tolerable.

But I'd like to think I'm able to understand that people think differently from myself. And just because someone voted for Trump, doesn't mean they are supporting white nationalism, for example. That's tolerance. 

And if Trump voters want to discuss it, I'll voice my opinion and disagreement for their candidate of choice. But I'm not going to bash them, or think the absolute worse of their motives, or stop being their friend. It's about giving people the benefit of the doubt and understanding that they may not be seeing things in the same way you're seeing them. And that doesn't make them bad people. 

I would not stop being their friend or think the worst of them. My entire family except my little brother voted for Trump. I don't bash them, I think we see that more here because of the nature of this website. If they want to have a conversation, I will tell them how I think. Just like here.

As a Catholic in an atheist forum, I practice this type of tolerance of thought all the time with all of you. I'm not perfect and I screw up all the time. But I do try.

You do an incredible job of it.