joke time

[Rhondazvous]

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
the whole fucking family was as drunk as a louse.

Grandma and Grandpa were smoking a bong,
and the kid was in bed, flogging his dong.

Ma home from the cathouse, and I out of jail,
had just settled down for a good piece of tail.

When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang off of Ma to see what was the matter.

Away to the window, I made a mad dash,
flew open the shutters and fell on my ass.

When what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
but a shitty old sleigh and a bunch of horny reindeer.

With a little old driver holding his dick,
I knew right away it was that bastard, St. Nick.

"On Dasher, on Prancer, up over those walls",
"Quickly now, damnit, or I'll cut off your balls."

So up to the house-top these assholes they flew,
with the rusty sled full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

The reindeer waited impatiently, stamping each hoof,
Then they started pissing and shitting all over my roof.

Then down the chimney Santa came like a bat out of hell,
and I knew right away that the fat fucker fell.

He filled all the stockings with weed, porn, and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother who's queer.

And then up again quickly, he went with a loud fart,
that son of a bitch blew my chimney apart.

And I heard him exclaim, as he flew out of sight,
"piss on you all it's been one hell of a night!"