Advice on a personal matter

[Aoi Magi]

        I was a normal person by standard means, had friends and attended social events and group based hobbies. The money issue started, among other things which I will not recall by any means, stuff I've been suppressing for years. Before anyone asks, I will not disclose or talk about them. If I was given the choice, I would take a pill to delete those files from my brain. After all that, I grew more and more anti-social.
hiding from the real world and filling my time with other projects I could do alone. I've become so addicted to form of anonymous commutations, that I can't connect properly to another human being. Has far as the talking to woman I've given up on that entirely.

          Those skills never developed properly, at twenty-nite I've never made it past a second date. The damage is done and can not be repaired.

Not wanting to discuss those incidents is part of the problem. I can understand not wanting to discuss it in public, but by keeping those memories bottled up within yourself you are keeping yourself chained to those. One thing I have learned in life is no matter how much worse the situation gets for me, there's always other people who are much worse off. You think you have been betrayed, but if you look around there's bound to be people who've been hurt even worse. When you talk to people, share your thoughts and feelings, and realize there are indeed others in similar situation to yours, you'll find the strength to move past that grief.

And also stop being such a pessimist, there are many women who prefer "men" over boys, and right now you are still at the "boy" stage, the true serious dating is about to begin for you, and you being able to start fresh without the baggage of past "dating experience" is actually a good thing.