(March 19, 2017 at 10:00 am)NewKingJames Wrote: Legit! It was supposed to have a warning label and stuff but they gave it the Orson Well Radio Broadcast treatment so yeah. the word choice you can't blame me fore, it was my scribes that "translated" it. aka ruin every sentence. You know the book was supposed to go. in the beginning god found a desolate system ravaged by war, decided to round up all the debris into on cluster and ignite it into a sun. then he was supposed to take empty dead worlds and terra form them around the new system, it was gonna be the biggest, zoo, ever! but then what happened? intergalactic politics! different factions with different ideas for the newly created system arose. god was all i'm gonna make a new species that can learn and live faster than us, to solve the problems we do not have the speed or cohesion to solve. satan was like, that sounds tight, we should give them a plant that creates chemicals to get their imagination firing. thus god and satan co sponsored the developement of marijuana. then gos was like, this morality stuff? it's getting in the way. we need science damn it! satan was like, we could totally make a tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Gods like... duh. i'm glad i thought of that. and they went hard to work redesigning the human mind to not have morality, and instead be inquisitive yet otherwise emotionless. aka vulcans. then... they made this tree, right, and it bore fruit that rewired their brain so it would restore morality. as a failsafe, incase we started getting hard to handle and needed a moral compass to give us pause. so experiment proceeds. ..... its pretty interesting. god gets kinda obsessed, hangs out with this adam creature daily. then he makes a mark two without consulting anyone, with chesticles. Which Satan was totttttallly down for. and he was like, "okay i get this one right?" and god was like.... yeaaah.. of couuurse... which is like when they say yes but you know they mean not really. and everytime satan tried to interact with her god was like dude, can i talk to you a minute? i need you to go do something. satan was like sure. and then god was like @ eve, yo, don't trust that snake it's evil n stuff. and she was like "sure i guess, i mean i wouldn't know right?" and god was like.... yeah... that's right, you wouldn't know. and thats when the regret started setting in. then satan was gonna give her fruit and god was gonna get pissed cause he liked the way things were going, shit gets heated, they split up the science division and they both fight eternally at the expense of the experiment until the council came in and fired both of them for flooding the whole lab. but uh... yeah they took it a little more seriously than I had intended. The sequels got reeeeaaaaallly out of hand.
Yea we know dude, nothing is ever your fault even though you started the entire shin dig. Sorry buddy, but I would not hire you to build cars. You'd build them with bad parts then blame the driver for their own injuries.
I wouldn't hire you to run a bicycle factory. The bikes would end up with squid for spokes and the workers would murder each other over all the competing assembly manuals you let them write and argue over. "Fine print" yea, certainly lots of that "sucks to be you" fine print in that book. You "It says what it says until it doesn't say what it says" "Not my fault you didn't have that purple alligator in your yard when your kid got cancer.'
Yea and you are too much of a narcissist to admit before you moved up to the top you were a lesser deity under El in the Canaanite pantheon. Kinda like John Gotti killed his boss and took over.
