RE: How did u become an atheist?
March 21, 2017 at 12:29 am
(This post was last modified: March 21, 2017 at 12:30 am by viocjit.)
When I was four years old I became Christian , to be more accurate I can say that at this period of my lifetime I didn't know that I was a "cafeteria catholic". I became Christian because I believed that God was talking to me (emotionaly and not with words) and that he had given me a mission that I'd discover later.
At the end of 90's I wanted to be baptised to be a better Catholic (I was never baptised thanks to my mother and father leaving the choice to me). Between my conversion and my deconversion I felt guilty because I was an "agnostic theist". I fear hell my whole life because one day I understood that Catholicism isn't the right denomination. Therefore I looked for the right denomination and now I know that all of them are false because Christianity isn't the right religion like all religions from our world. Also I fear hell because I thought that I was a sinner. I'm happy to say that sin doesn't exist.
At the age of eight I discovered the theory of evolution therefore I thought that Genesis is only an allegory.
I became a conspiracy theorist because since the age of four , I had the sensation that I was chosen by the creator to do and make something really important for the future of humanity (I was probably trapped by my ego). These videos and texts about conspiracy theories seemed logic to me. I believed I had received a kind of revelation like "here is your mission". I discovered conspiracy theories when I began to view pro-psy (astral projection, telekinesis, telepathy, etc...) and esoteric websites because I wanted to improve my spirituality when I was between 10-11 years old. I really became really a conspiracy theorist when I was between 12-14 years old. I stopped looking into psy and esoterism between 14-15 years old because I thought that it was a sin. At the age of 16 years old I read the whole Bible and I understood that Christians don't practice all the laws of the eternal. I felt guilty.
Also I was shocked by the content of the OT. The Bible seemed to me a book of non-sense because the organisation of each of these texts are not really understandable. I saw contradictions in the synoptic Gospels but I still continue to believe for emotional reasons.
Some month later I discovered that texts from biblical corpus contain interpolation like John 7:53-8:11. I still continued to believe because I feared hell and I thought that god let the forgers act because of the existence of "free will" (Now I know that neurology say that free will is rather an illusion). Some years before discovered this fact I discovered that Jesus has similarities with others mythological characters but I thought that Satan inspired the writers of pagan myths.
This year I discovered that many biblical events like Exodus never happened.
Keys to better understand my story :
1.In my family people are not really religious (cafeteria catholicism).
2.I tried to be a better Christian because in my family people are cafeteria catholics and I was very interested in religion. Also I can cite the fear of hell.
3.I was between 14 and 15 years old the last time I went in a church.
4.I was never baptised because I doubted my whole life and I desired being honest with the master of the universe. Before being an Agnostic and now an Atheist . I was an Agnostic theist.
5.I looked for the right Christian denomination nearly my whole life. All of them appeared to me disconnect to the reality.
6.I went to church approximately between 7 and 15 time in my life.
At the end of 90's I wanted to be baptised to be a better Catholic (I was never baptised thanks to my mother and father leaving the choice to me). Between my conversion and my deconversion I felt guilty because I was an "agnostic theist". I fear hell my whole life because one day I understood that Catholicism isn't the right denomination. Therefore I looked for the right denomination and now I know that all of them are false because Christianity isn't the right religion like all religions from our world. Also I fear hell because I thought that I was a sinner. I'm happy to say that sin doesn't exist.
At the age of eight I discovered the theory of evolution therefore I thought that Genesis is only an allegory.
I became a conspiracy theorist because since the age of four , I had the sensation that I was chosen by the creator to do and make something really important for the future of humanity (I was probably trapped by my ego). These videos and texts about conspiracy theories seemed logic to me. I believed I had received a kind of revelation like "here is your mission". I discovered conspiracy theories when I began to view pro-psy (astral projection, telekinesis, telepathy, etc...) and esoteric websites because I wanted to improve my spirituality when I was between 10-11 years old. I really became really a conspiracy theorist when I was between 12-14 years old. I stopped looking into psy and esoterism between 14-15 years old because I thought that it was a sin. At the age of 16 years old I read the whole Bible and I understood that Christians don't practice all the laws of the eternal. I felt guilty.
Also I was shocked by the content of the OT. The Bible seemed to me a book of non-sense because the organisation of each of these texts are not really understandable. I saw contradictions in the synoptic Gospels but I still continue to believe for emotional reasons.
Some month later I discovered that texts from biblical corpus contain interpolation like John 7:53-8:11. I still continued to believe because I feared hell and I thought that god let the forgers act because of the existence of "free will" (Now I know that neurology say that free will is rather an illusion). Some years before discovered this fact I discovered that Jesus has similarities with others mythological characters but I thought that Satan inspired the writers of pagan myths.
This year I discovered that many biblical events like Exodus never happened.
Keys to better understand my story :
1.In my family people are not really religious (cafeteria catholicism).
2.I tried to be a better Christian because in my family people are cafeteria catholics and I was very interested in religion. Also I can cite the fear of hell.
3.I was between 14 and 15 years old the last time I went in a church.
4.I was never baptised because I doubted my whole life and I desired being honest with the master of the universe. Before being an Agnostic and now an Atheist . I was an Agnostic theist.
5.I looked for the right Christian denomination nearly my whole life. All of them appeared to me disconnect to the reality.
6.I went to church approximately between 7 and 15 time in my life.
