Odd sensation pondering men I've known or dated who had kids.
D's son passed away in a car accident before I ever met him. The son would be in his 40s now, hard to guess how good a father D would have made.
R has a daughter, she outlived him. AFAIK, when I was dating him they weren't close but not estranged either. He mentioned her a few times and noted his ex had full custody, and that was more due to financial considerations than the gay issue.
J had a daughter and was enjoying twice a month visitation. I wasn't allowed anywhere near his place on those weekends, and I am positive to this day (30 years later) he has never discussed me with her. J had a strict wall of separation in his life between the hetero and homo phase. Was very little cross pollination, I guess I'm even surprised he told me about his daughter
A, I knew you for years before I found out you had been married and had 3 kids. Never met them until your funeral service, an odd experience for all of us that sad day. No nice way of saying this, but wow !!, Your ex wife wasn't exactly a looker, was she? And for me to even notice, realize the implications of that. Never know about genetics though, all your kids were lookers, LOL, what a remarkable experience your service was for me.
M has an estranged daughter. In fact the estrangement was initiated by her out of the blue, and I had a front row seat to the mess it made in his life. And despite her knowing her dad was gay since childhood, suddenly as an adult it made a difference to her sufficient to trigger a total break. Bitch.
R, friend of mine dated you. You had custody of 3 teens, 2 girls, 1 boy after your ex high tailed it to Texas. You never hid your 'second life' from them either. My friend wasn't put off by dating a man with 3 teens, but maybe he should have been (heh heh). And then R died. What a fucking nightmare.
B same guy dated you too. His kids are adults and don't know about your continuing bisexuality. 2 sons, successful business men with families of their own. B had a rough ride with you since you kept pressuring him to join you in bisexuality. That's a tough thing to ask of exclusively gay man pushing (at the time) 55 years old, no matter how besotted he might have been with you. And the secrecy about the whole thing was difficult for my friend too. And then while dating my friend, you married your third wife. And DIDN'T tell her about the bisexuality aspect that was going to continue in your life BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T ASK !!! Same excuse for not telling your sons too. Well, why is anyone going to ask about if you are totally on the down low about it ? Sheesh, I was so relieved when my friend finally dropped you.
All you 12 Steppers I know: damn, there are a passel of kids in this group. Hell if I know what to think about any of them. It comes up at meetings often enough though. Gay dads with substance abuse problems are a big demographic apparently, never would have suspected that prior to getting sober myself. I'd say most of those kids, while definitely having a rough ride, have done better than maybe most of us would have predicted. I won't even hazard a guess about how many 12 Stepping gay men I've met in 3 decades who had fathered kids, it could easily be over 40, and that would be just the ones that spoke about it, I'm thinking there would be more that remain undisclosed.
D's son passed away in a car accident before I ever met him. The son would be in his 40s now, hard to guess how good a father D would have made.
R has a daughter, she outlived him. AFAIK, when I was dating him they weren't close but not estranged either. He mentioned her a few times and noted his ex had full custody, and that was more due to financial considerations than the gay issue.
J had a daughter and was enjoying twice a month visitation. I wasn't allowed anywhere near his place on those weekends, and I am positive to this day (30 years later) he has never discussed me with her. J had a strict wall of separation in his life between the hetero and homo phase. Was very little cross pollination, I guess I'm even surprised he told me about his daughter
A, I knew you for years before I found out you had been married and had 3 kids. Never met them until your funeral service, an odd experience for all of us that sad day. No nice way of saying this, but wow !!, Your ex wife wasn't exactly a looker, was she? And for me to even notice, realize the implications of that. Never know about genetics though, all your kids were lookers, LOL, what a remarkable experience your service was for me.
M has an estranged daughter. In fact the estrangement was initiated by her out of the blue, and I had a front row seat to the mess it made in his life. And despite her knowing her dad was gay since childhood, suddenly as an adult it made a difference to her sufficient to trigger a total break. Bitch.
R, friend of mine dated you. You had custody of 3 teens, 2 girls, 1 boy after your ex high tailed it to Texas. You never hid your 'second life' from them either. My friend wasn't put off by dating a man with 3 teens, but maybe he should have been (heh heh). And then R died. What a fucking nightmare.
B same guy dated you too. His kids are adults and don't know about your continuing bisexuality. 2 sons, successful business men with families of their own. B had a rough ride with you since you kept pressuring him to join you in bisexuality. That's a tough thing to ask of exclusively gay man pushing (at the time) 55 years old, no matter how besotted he might have been with you. And the secrecy about the whole thing was difficult for my friend too. And then while dating my friend, you married your third wife. And DIDN'T tell her about the bisexuality aspect that was going to continue in your life BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T ASK !!! Same excuse for not telling your sons too. Well, why is anyone going to ask about if you are totally on the down low about it ? Sheesh, I was so relieved when my friend finally dropped you.
All you 12 Steppers I know: damn, there are a passel of kids in this group. Hell if I know what to think about any of them. It comes up at meetings often enough though. Gay dads with substance abuse problems are a big demographic apparently, never would have suspected that prior to getting sober myself. I'd say most of those kids, while definitely having a rough ride, have done better than maybe most of us would have predicted. I won't even hazard a guess about how many 12 Stepping gay men I've met in 3 decades who had fathered kids, it could easily be over 40, and that would be just the ones that spoke about it, I'm thinking there would be more that remain undisclosed.
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
