"The Teen Suicide Epidemic"

[Shell B]

Thanks, I appreciate that, but to be honest, sometimes I wonder if it was a good thing. I am very content in my life now and my depression is pretty much under control. Is my life now worth all of the pain I've endured? I would say yes, but sometimes I'm not so sure.

In my opinion, some of the treasures in life, such as children, romantic love, etc. are worth every ounce of pain. Is that pain easy to handle? Absolutely fucking not. Depression isn't just sadness, but I think most people in this thread know that. I always imagine that I will miss something epic, like a niece's graduation or wedding and she will be sitting there going, "I wish my Aunty Shelly could have been here." That helps me pound through the chemical tantrums my brain has.

I know the above sounds corny, but it doesn't come from a position of "Hey, cheer up!" It comes from a position of knowing. It totally fucking sucks. One of the things I hate is people saying, "Just snap out of it." to people with depression or saying that their actions or thoughts are selfish. People like that have no fucking clue what it is like. It is selfish to treat a person who is in the grip of depression like an asshole. In my experience, it isn't selfish. Most people want to kill themselves because they feel like they have nothing to offer or that they are a waste of space and their pain is to great to endure. It is those emo punks who cry suicide every time they are remotely sad, but never have any intention of doing it that cause that general public opinion of suicide being selfish because those people are selfish.

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I gave a kudos because I, too, know that the "sudden rebound" is the calm before the storm, having experienced grave depression too.

On the bright side, (as if there is such a thing) I have heard that depression is more common among intelligent individuals. That must mean we're all smart! Of course, that also means we're smart enough to know how to do it.

I hope you don't slip back too often, Syn.