Jesus already came (at lest for some)
July 18, 2017 at 5:46 am
(This post was last modified: July 18, 2017 at 5:49 am by Fake Messiah.)
Considering schizophrenic nature of Christianity every male Christian is bogged to ask himself at least once in his life "Am I Jesus?" some even find that answer to be "Yes". So many Christians have already chosen their Jesus among those that now claim they are, while other are still playing hard-to-get and see themselves "too smart" to follow those and wait for Jesus that will be able to heal people with his spit, curse fig trees and the one that believes all diseases were due to possession by demons so he can heal them by exorcising their daemons to pigs, just like Jesus from their Sunday school and The Bible.
But of course for other Christians it's not the cheap tricks that matter, but the "message" so that's why they chose one of these:
1st: INRI in Brazil.
followers of INRI push their messiah around on a rolling pedestal. A dozen disciples (most of them women) live full-time with the celibate 69-year-old in his walled compound, which is protected with barbed wire and electrical fencing (what is he afraid of? won't his superpowers protect him?). His awakening came in 1979.
2nd: The King of Kings, The Lord of Lords, Jesus, Moses;
He says that God identified him as the Messiah during a dream in 1992. At the time Moses was working as a jewelry salesman. Since then, he's preached in Eshowe, Johannesburg, and other cities in the region. Jesus has about 40 disciples.
3rd: The Christ of Siberia or VISSARION.
He had a revelation around the time the Soviet Union collapsed that he was Jesus Christ reborn. Founder of the Church of the Last Testament, he now has at least 5,000 followers; many of them live with him in several Utopian eco-villages in the Siberian woods. They've built their own schools, churches, and society. Vissarion's proclamations have been published in 16 tomes titled "The Last Testament".
4rd probably: JESUS OF KITWE.
Let's face it he probably doesn't have much of white people as followers. This messiah goes by several names, but his disciples refer to him simply as Jesus. He spends his days driving a cab, spreading the gospel, and preparing the world for the Kingdom of God.
5th JESUS MATAYOSHI, JAPAN also known as The Only God.
He probably can't boast with not only white followers but black as well, because while black people can worship white man as god they certainly can't do the same with Asian man.
In Tokyo, Jesus Matayoshi sermonizes during his most recent campaign for a seat in the Japanese parliament. His scripture is titled How the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, the One True God, Jesus Matayoshi Will Change Japan and the World.
But of course for other Christians it's not the cheap tricks that matter, but the "message" so that's why they chose one of these:
1st: INRI in Brazil.
followers of INRI push their messiah around on a rolling pedestal. A dozen disciples (most of them women) live full-time with the celibate 69-year-old in his walled compound, which is protected with barbed wire and electrical fencing (what is he afraid of? won't his superpowers protect him?). His awakening came in 1979.
2nd: The King of Kings, The Lord of Lords, Jesus, Moses;
He says that God identified him as the Messiah during a dream in 1992. At the time Moses was working as a jewelry salesman. Since then, he's preached in Eshowe, Johannesburg, and other cities in the region. Jesus has about 40 disciples.
3rd: The Christ of Siberia or VISSARION.
He had a revelation around the time the Soviet Union collapsed that he was Jesus Christ reborn. Founder of the Church of the Last Testament, he now has at least 5,000 followers; many of them live with him in several Utopian eco-villages in the Siberian woods. They've built their own schools, churches, and society. Vissarion's proclamations have been published in 16 tomes titled "The Last Testament".
4rd probably: JESUS OF KITWE.
Let's face it he probably doesn't have much of white people as followers. This messiah goes by several names, but his disciples refer to him simply as Jesus. He spends his days driving a cab, spreading the gospel, and preparing the world for the Kingdom of God.
5th JESUS MATAYOSHI, JAPAN also known as The Only God.
He probably can't boast with not only white followers but black as well, because while black people can worship white man as god they certainly can't do the same with Asian man.
In Tokyo, Jesus Matayoshi sermonizes during his most recent campaign for a seat in the Japanese parliament. His scripture is titled How the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, the One True God, Jesus Matayoshi Will Change Japan and the World.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"