Can you cut a cake fairly to solve this middle school math problem?

[Fireball]

While everyone stands around a big white board, drawing schematics and diagrams of how to properly divide the cake Losty made, Nymphadora and her epic stealth skills quickly and cunningly removes said cake from the counter, grabs two forks and two bottles of wine, along with Losty and we sneak out the back door to the deck, where we each grab a seat at the table, facing the house. We each take up a fork and a bottle of wine and laugh heartily at the fools inside who are still bickering about how to cut the cake, and we consume said cake - all without a feeling of guilt because we are women with cake and wine and we are invincible!

And a lot smarter than the men still inside, arguing about the now eaten cake.

Beat me to it. But my evil deed was going to be using some round device to cut the cake into a circle, make 5 radial cuts, and abscond with the rest. If it's chocolate frosting, my eyes will be spinning in different directions from the sugar and theobromine overload.