The Coffee Questionaire

[Edwardo Piet]

1. Do you make your coffee at home (skip to #5) or does a barista make it for you (go on to #2)?
(if you occasionally order a coffee from a barista, go on to #2)

99% of the time I drink super strong instant coffee at home. Occasionally I have a few double espressos at barista. Or if I'm feeling cheeky and don't really need any more caffeine in me I'll order a latte.

2. What do you usually order from the barista?  Describe in detail what's in the drink, whether it's a hot or cold coffee, size of the drink, milk & sugar, etc.

2-3 double espressos no sugar no milk no cream... is my standard.

Although I will occasionally order an iced coffee or a latte just for funsies.

3. Do you drink it there and then order another from the barista or do you drink it on the go?

Depends. If I'm in a rush I drink it on the go. If I'm not in a rush I drink it there and then fuck off elsewhere.

4. Add any other pertinent details about your coffee drinking habits involving baristas who make it for you.

I never ever have sugar and I like to have more than one double espresso as baristas don't tend to make coffee strong enough for me.

5. What brand of coffee do you normally buy?

Any.

6. How many cups (how big are these cups) of coffee do you normally consume on an average day?

I dunno how to describe it but I have this gigantic mug that has "Music lover" written on it with a pair of headphones painted on it. I usually stick 5-7 heaped spoons of instant coffee in them.

7. What do you add to your coffee?

Enough heaped spoons of instant coffee for me to be basically drinking the equivalent of at least 6 coffees at once.

8. Do you drink water during or after your coffee?

I try to drink water constantly throughout the day... which includes before and after coffee. I try to overdrink and it usually leads to me pissing every half hour.

I make up for that by forgetting to drink for hours at a time at least as much as I overdrink. It's because I often forget to drink or eat that I tend to drink and eat as much as I can when I actually remember to drink and eat.

9. Will you not drink coffee past a particular time?

Yes. In fact some days I stay awake for 40 hours (I miss whole day basically) so I'll drink coffee throughout the night because I didn't need to sleep that night anyways.

15. Add anything else you feel is worth mentioning in relation to the consumption of coffee. (for example, how long have you been drinking coffee, do you make coffee at home and drink it on the go, how much do you pay for a cup of coffee from the barista, does drinking coffee get your bowels moving, etc?)

I can go for weeks without coffee but then when I do drink it I drink it more than anyone I've ever known.

Fun facts: Coffee is the number one consumed beverage in the world, breast milk is at number ten.

I didn't know the part about breast milk. I should get a girlfriend and try it in my coffee (her breast milk I mean... not her herself. I'm not going to dip the entirety of a naked adult woman in a gigantic mug of coffee. Although the mug I drink from is almost big enough to do that).