The True Tale of How Jesus Christ Got His Name
October 14, 2017 at 11:02 pm
(This post was last modified: October 14, 2017 at 11:03 pm by Edwardo Piet.)
God was having sex with a volcano one day with his gigantic penis when he suddenly felt like plowing into Mary (and she remains a virgin after because sex with celestial beings doesn't count)
God gets way ahead of himself and starts asking Mary for advice on what they should call their son at the same time as he penetrates her. God is always getting way ahead of himself like that. He gets confused about when the right time to say things because all that being outside of space and time lark makes him rather tipsy.
"WHAT SHOULD WE CALL OUR SON MARY??!?!" shouts God psychotically as he snorts cocaine and invents the dinosaurs, galaxies and Martians all at once whilst he fiddles between different time periods.
In goes the boner.
"JESUS CHRIST!" shouts Mary.
"I like it" says God.
The end.
Already more clearly written than the whole Bible.
P.S. I love how mature I am.
God gets way ahead of himself and starts asking Mary for advice on what they should call their son at the same time as he penetrates her. God is always getting way ahead of himself like that. He gets confused about when the right time to say things because all that being outside of space and time lark makes him rather tipsy.
"WHAT SHOULD WE CALL OUR SON MARY??!?!" shouts God psychotically as he snorts cocaine and invents the dinosaurs, galaxies and Martians all at once whilst he fiddles between different time periods.
In goes the boner.
"JESUS CHRIST!" shouts Mary.
"I like it" says God.
The end.
Already more clearly written than the whole Bible.
P.S. I love how mature I am.
