I will be gone for a few days

[Der/die AtheistIn]

...As I said, I predict the pentecostal one to be boring (unless something umplanned and intersting happens, which I doubt). 
What rules: 

• don't drink, not even with measure, not even at special occasions
  
• don't go to parties, unless is strictly necesarry
  
• don't have too much fun at the few parties you're allowed to attend...
  

Hmm, I'd be tempted to sneak a few rats in, a shoulder bag or suchlike and let them out under one of those cascading table cloths. The panic and the screams will be joy to behold.

Good idea! And how about domestic rats, who don't carry diseases and aren't very violent? I want to scare peopple, not ruin their lives. I might be evil, but I'm not THAT evil!
This plan might be dangerous for the rats though.