Is it harder to be kind or clever?

[Edwardo Piet]

In the long run I think you only cause more harm by lying. And it's not like I have a choice anyway. I'd also harm myself if I lied. I have no memory of lying about anything.

Failing to spare someone's feelings is a small price to pay when they get far more hurt when they discover you lied to them and they can't trust you anymore. And lying does more harm to oneself than anyone else. I also think that the easier it is to lie to others the easier it is to lie to yourself and then that allows you to buy into fallacies more easily and makes it more difficult for you to be a consistently logical person.

I don't agree.
I've been asked on numerous occasions questions like "Does my bum look big in this" or "Should I dress more age appropriate" Those sorts of questions can be answered with the persons feelings being taken into account.

I know what you are saying, but I reserve the right to practice the level of honesty that you are talking about for things that matter.

I know what you're saying but I reserve the right to disagree too. I don't have to lie in those situations because I have ways of finding my way around them without lying.

Telling the truth can hurt people but lies can destroy whole relationships by creating distrust. And lies hurt ourselves more than anyone else.

When the woman in question is a friend and she finds out you'd be lying to her the whole time and you do think her bum looks big, she'll be far more hurt and she'll consider your opinion worthless. And if it was a stranger rather than a friend who asked the question, there's no need to even answer.

And if your friend knows you tell her the truth it also means that your compliments aren't meaningless garbage either. She'll know they're genuine.