The benefits of being christian. Where are there???

[Silver]

What?! You're weird. I'm an atheist because of all the free wine, rum, avocado, jalapenos, hummus and pizza we atheists get. Only the real idiot atheists get excluded from that sweet deal.

I knew I was missing out. That sucks. Oh well. I didn't become an atheist for the swag, anyway. Here are the reasons I'm a nonbeliever:

1. I hate God (just like all atheists, duh.)
2. I want to sin (Ask Ted Haggard. A practicing Christian can't sin, so atheism is rather appealing in that regard).
3. I'm gay (Again, just like all atheists. For some reason, I still really like boobs, though-- don't know what that's all about).
4. To escape all the persecution (Obviously, growing up in rural America, all atheists are treated like outcasts).
5. I'd like to hold on to that 10% of my income (becoming an atheist was a financial decision, really.)
6. Did I miss anything? Probably. So I guess I'll just reiterate that I hate God again. (What kind of asshole doesn't even bother to exist?)

Just how gay are you?