Die Atheistin
I'm gonna go with the same advice. Stay at home and simply don't engage with the matter. Keep your head down and don't rise to the religious bait. I and my three siblings did exactly that and it harmed nobody. All of us eventually left home in out twenties (24, 23, 25, 23 with me third on that list). All of us were atheists despite devout RCC parents.
Lots of things happened that we simply paid lip service to such as my fathers attempt to introduce a weekly rosary recital. That was abandoned due to lack of attendance, so he gave up). Number 2 and 4 emigrated so that was a non-issue. #1 left to shack up with her then boyfriend (scandal) now her husband of some 28 years. I got married and left to set up home with my now ex-wife. Oddly enough the fact that she was RCC was a contributing factor there. Even odder, she has now also pretty much abandoned it.
Frankly, you can simply glide through it all without ruffling anyone's feathers. And bear in mind, I am 48, and this was all much more difficult back in my day. So, it can be done painlessly. The difficulty arises when one seeks a confrontation when one is not quite ready to deal with the consequences. That can sometimes work out badly.
My kids are already out, but it was easy for them. Even if mom threw them out, they knew they could move in with me permanently if required. They already come to my place for peace and sanity, and they know the could move in permanently at any time. In fact, they have already asked. It is one of the few advantages of having divorced parents. One has two available homes. Now, when this came up some while ago, I had that conversation with them. I told them in no uncertain terms that I would be delighted to host them permanently, however, it would destroy their mother were either of them to choose to do so. Best to leave the status quo unless it became unsustainable. Or an eviction happened. I have no fondness for my ex. But I wouldn't do something like that out of spite, whatever may have occurred between us. Children are not pawns in some mad game of spousal revenge.
I will admit that I am unhappy not to see more of my kids company, sure. But they are of an age that they have burgeoning social lives of their own, and even on the days when I have custody, I often just drive them to wherever they are going and don't see them anyway. This one is going to a sleepover there, the other is meeting friends someplace else, and so forth. I am simply a multitasking taxi driver a lot of the time. Nevertheless, we squeeze in time in that busy life to discuss all manner of things. All I can do is provide a venue where they can let off steam and be honest about anything without fear of reprisal.
And I will share something odd about all of this. My ex was more upset when my eldest came out as atheist, than when she/he came out as transgender. In both cases, I simply shrugged and said
Take hope from that. And bide your time.
Oh, and I am not implying you might be trans, just relating my own experience as a parent.
I'm gonna go with the same advice. Stay at home and simply don't engage with the matter. Keep your head down and don't rise to the religious bait. I and my three siblings did exactly that and it harmed nobody. All of us eventually left home in out twenties (24, 23, 25, 23 with me third on that list). All of us were atheists despite devout RCC parents.
Lots of things happened that we simply paid lip service to such as my fathers attempt to introduce a weekly rosary recital. That was abandoned due to lack of attendance, so he gave up). Number 2 and 4 emigrated so that was a non-issue. #1 left to shack up with her then boyfriend (scandal) now her husband of some 28 years. I got married and left to set up home with my now ex-wife. Oddly enough the fact that she was RCC was a contributing factor there. Even odder, she has now also pretty much abandoned it.
Frankly, you can simply glide through it all without ruffling anyone's feathers. And bear in mind, I am 48, and this was all much more difficult back in my day. So, it can be done painlessly. The difficulty arises when one seeks a confrontation when one is not quite ready to deal with the consequences. That can sometimes work out badly.
My kids are already out, but it was easy for them. Even if mom threw them out, they knew they could move in with me permanently if required. They already come to my place for peace and sanity, and they know the could move in permanently at any time. In fact, they have already asked. It is one of the few advantages of having divorced parents. One has two available homes. Now, when this came up some while ago, I had that conversation with them. I told them in no uncertain terms that I would be delighted to host them permanently, however, it would destroy their mother were either of them to choose to do so. Best to leave the status quo unless it became unsustainable. Or an eviction happened. I have no fondness for my ex. But I wouldn't do something like that out of spite, whatever may have occurred between us. Children are not pawns in some mad game of spousal revenge.
I will admit that I am unhappy not to see more of my kids company, sure. But they are of an age that they have burgeoning social lives of their own, and even on the days when I have custody, I often just drive them to wherever they are going and don't see them anyway. This one is going to a sleepover there, the other is meeting friends someplace else, and so forth. I am simply a multitasking taxi driver a lot of the time. Nevertheless, we squeeze in time in that busy life to discuss all manner of things. All I can do is provide a venue where they can let off steam and be honest about anything without fear of reprisal.
And I will share something odd about all of this. My ex was more upset when my eldest came out as atheist, than when she/he came out as transgender. In both cases, I simply shrugged and said
Quote:"You are discovering who you are, and it doesn't matter who it is that you discover that you are. You will still be my child, always. And I will always love you, however it plays out"
Take hope from that. And bide your time.
Oh, and I am not implying you might be trans, just relating my own experience as a parent.
