Marriage Poll

[Edwardo Piet]

I've grown to hate anti commitment. It's incredibly selfish I think. It's also a blokes dream, and abusive to women, even if women aren't unanimous in condemnation of it, I personally hold that it's a blokes dream to be a kid forever and have no commitment.

(My bolding).

Well fr0d0, if you are talking about ME saying I'm not big about 'commitment' - then I am saying that your argument is a serious strawman in response to mine.

(If it's not a response to mine then ignore that - you must just have a different interpretation).

I am in no way suggesting going around sleeping around or being abusive to women!! On the fucking contrary!

I am saying that I think using 'commitment' (notice the scare quotes) as something to 'hold on to' to 'keep the relationship going' takes the meaning out the relationship.

I WANT a long lasting, loving, relationship. I just think that if I can have one without 'commitment' or 'marriage' then it shows how strong and loving the relationship really IS...

If problems can be worked out WITHOUT 'commitment' if people can love each other WITHOUT 'promising' ("I promise I will stay for ever and ever and ever" etc), - and stay together WITHOUT that - I think then that shows how truly spontaneous and natural the Love really IS.

I think the 'commitment', the 'promising' the 'marriage' is trivial and superficial compared to the actual feelings and love...to actually caring about your partner.

With kids it is different as I have said before...it may be best to say in an UNloving relationship just for the kids....

But I think if two people can show their love without having to ATTACH things like 'commitment', 'marriage', etc, - then I think that's a mark of true, natural and free love...

And as to Love only being around early on...well...I wouldn't want to be in a relationship for years if I only actually loved that person early on!! I want to LOVE the person I'm WITH. And I think if I can do that without attaching 'commitment' or 'marriage' to it... - if we can just stay together naturally because we truly love each other that much - then I think that's just a mark of how much we love each other.

EvF