Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist

[LadyForCamus]

That's not at all what anyone has been saying. No one called her dumb or a bitch. Those things might be true, but I don't know. I'm just pointing out that she didn't say no. She didn't leave. I never said she was a dumb bitch for not doing those things, simply that we, as women, can't call it assault when we give up the goods without crystal clear resistance. If women want men to have crystal clear consent, we ought to know how to give crystal clear dissent.

The dumb bitch part is the implication in the narrative (overall, not specifically you in this thread).  The unspoken answer to the 'why didn't she just say no and leave?' is that she's a dumb bitch.  It's why she's being attacked rather than sympathized with.  She needs to be dehumanized to make it okay so people can keep liking Parks and Rec and Master of None.  Again, not necessarily you, but I think this is the crux of the overall narrative.  And another group needs to dehumanize her to justify the actions, because they do the same thing.

Louis CK got verbal consent, I believe, before he pulled out his dick.  But even that wasn't really.  He just knew that put on the spot, they'd probably not stand up to him.  

I just don't believe 'be assertive' is as easy as people make it sound.  How many people don't ask for raises, or cave when asked to work overtime, or don't report sexual harassment, or stay in bad relationships, or get taken advantage of by friends, and on and on and on and on and on.  

Which brings me back to my original point, if you're a passive person, do you deserve what you get when someone takes advantage of you?  It doesn't seem like that should be the case.

I am an extremely passive person.  I hate confrontation, or displeasing anyone.  I’m practically a push over, but I’ll tell you what...if someone is touching me in a way that I don’t like, or want, they’re gonna know it.  If a woman is so passive that she is incapable of clearly verbalizing consent/non-consent during a sexual encounter, that’s a huge problem.  That’s a debilitating type of problem that is going to interfere with her everyday functioning, and she should seek out some support.  What’s her alternative?  Never go on a date again, because she can’t even speak up about not wanting to go back to the guy’s apartment?  Something is just not right about this encounter as it was reported, I’m sorry.