Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist

[polymath257]

Pretty sure if you can give a bj "against your will" you can sign a form "against your will" or "under pressure". Consent forms will change nothing. Shit will still happen.

I agree.

Maybe we should try getting to the root of the problem? Promote sexual morality and respect for self and others. Discourage hook up culture. Discourage porn use. Discourage men and women using each other in bed...

Promote the radical idea that sex is a language of self giving love and commitment.

Now there's a thought.

I strongly disagree. Sexual 'morality' is usually just sexual suppression. I prefer a sex-positive culture. Sometimes people just want to fuck, and if everyone involved is OK with that, it is a good thing.

The problem is that we so often encourage people NOT to talk about sexuality or we speak in a way that promotes embarrassment concerning sexuality. And an atmosphere of 'sexual morality' (at least as it is usually portrayed) goes very much with that line. And I think that is horribly damaging. Instead of suppressing our sexuality, we should be promoting it.

When you say we should respect self and others, I agree, but I wonder if we are talking the same language. I believe that it is a positive thing for two (or more) people that want to have sex to have sex. I believe that can be done from a point of respect of both self and others. And it *should* be done in an atmosphere of free communication about boundaries and openness to those who don't want to play or want to play in different ways.

Being 'used' is a matter of perspective. Am I being 'used' if we play tennis together? Why is it being used if we have sex *if* we both want to? If I am not in the mood for tennis, but go along because you want to,  is that me being used? Have you *never* has sex when you weren't in the mood because your partner wanted it? I certainly have. And I wasn't 'being used'.

So, no, if your idea of sexual morality is monogamy, I do not agree. If it involves open communication and listening to partners, I do agree. If it involves taking responsibility for your own actions, then I agree. If it involves *real* respect instead of shame, I agree. THAT is the real sexual morality in my mind.