RE: Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist
January 18, 2018 at 3:44 pm
Let me just say that I get that rape and sexual assault are extremely sensitive/traumatic topics for people who have been through it. I don't understand what it feels like to be assaulted, but I do have my own traumatic experience about something else, and there are certain subjects relating to it that are extremely triggering to me... so I get it. I know that feeling.
To reword what I meant in that comment in case there's any possible unintended offense to any lurker reading, let me further explain my position.
I was basically responding to SaStrike's valid point about consent to explain that I don't think consent should be the end all be all to how we behave, sexually. It's a critical part, obviously, but it shouldn't end there, imho. Because then we get stories like this: where technically there was consent, but someone still came out feeling used and violated and disrespected and taken advantage of. We'll get stories where people consented, but they did so because they were being pressured by the other. We'll get stories where people consented, but were nonetheless treated like sex objects and discarded afterwards. Technically there is consent in these scenarios, and there was no crime, but this doesn't mean it was right.
What I'm saying is there needs to be a root change in our culture's attitude about sexuality to where consent isn't the ONLY standard to go by. There needs to be a better overall sense of care for people and respect for sexuality in general. My opinion on how to promote this greater sense is what I specifically suggested on the post: Promote respect for self and others, promote sexual morality, promote sex as an act of love/commitment to the other person... discourage hook up culture, discourage porn use, discourage using each other in bed.
That's literally all I meant by that. I wasn't trying to victim blame or discredit consent or anything like that, just adding to it.
To reword what I meant in that comment in case there's any possible unintended offense to any lurker reading, let me further explain my position.
I was basically responding to SaStrike's valid point about consent to explain that I don't think consent should be the end all be all to how we behave, sexually. It's a critical part, obviously, but it shouldn't end there, imho. Because then we get stories like this: where technically there was consent, but someone still came out feeling used and violated and disrespected and taken advantage of. We'll get stories where people consented, but they did so because they were being pressured by the other. We'll get stories where people consented, but were nonetheless treated like sex objects and discarded afterwards. Technically there is consent in these scenarios, and there was no crime, but this doesn't mean it was right.
What I'm saying is there needs to be a root change in our culture's attitude about sexuality to where consent isn't the ONLY standard to go by. There needs to be a better overall sense of care for people and respect for sexuality in general. My opinion on how to promote this greater sense is what I specifically suggested on the post: Promote respect for self and others, promote sexual morality, promote sex as an act of love/commitment to the other person... discourage hook up culture, discourage porn use, discourage using each other in bed.
That's literally all I meant by that. I wasn't trying to victim blame or discredit consent or anything like that, just adding to it.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
-walsh
