Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist

[Edwardo Piet]

Let me just say that I get that rape and sexual assault are extremely sensitive/traumatic topics for people who have been through it. I don't understand what it feels like to be assaulted, but I do have my own traumatic experience about something else, and there are certain subjects relating to it that are extremely triggering to me... so I get it. I know that feeling.  

To reword what I meant in that comment in case there's any possible unintended offense to any lurker reading, let me further explain my position.

I was basically responding to SaStrike's valid point about consent to explain that I don't think consent should be the end all be all to how we behave, sexually. It's a critical part, obviously, but it shouldn't end there, imho. Because then we get stories like this: where technically there was consent, but someone still came out feeling used and violated and disrespected and taken advantage of. We'll get stories where people consented, but they did so because they were being pressured by the other. We'll get stories where people consented, but were nonetheless treated like sex objects and discarded afterwards. Technically there is consent in these scenarios, and there was no crime, but this doesn't mean it was right.  

What I'm saying is there needs to be a root change in our culture's attitude about sexuality to where consent isn't the ONLY standard to go by. There needs to be a better overall sense of care for people and respect for sexuality in general. My opinion on how to promote this greater sense is what I specifically suggested on the post: Promote respect for self and others, promote sexual morality, promote sex as an act of love/commitment to the other person... discourage hook up culture, discourage porn use, discourage using each other in bed.

That's literally all I meant by that. I wasn't trying to victim blame or discredit consent or anything like that, just adding to it.

The guy was pushy and that was wrong... and that's an obvious problem.

A less obvious problem though, is the fact that while it may be obvious to you me and others who agree with me.... that from the story given she did consent.... to some people it's not so obvious. Some people think that you have to literally spell every action out to the other person and they have to literally spell every action out to you too... all beforehand. Otherwise it's rape. Which is just absolutely nuts.

Oh, and the solution to "Nah don't be silly you don't need to spell everything out for affirmative consent!" problem: "You just have to read their mind!".

...is even nutser.

And the solution to the "Nah don't be silly you don't have to read their mind for affirmative consent!" problem: "You just have to know whether they're feeling enthusiastic or not!"

...is even nutserer.

And the solution to the "Nah don't be silly you don't need to guess whether they're feeling enthusiastic or not in order to know whether they're enthusiastic or not!" problem: "You just have to know that if they're not feeling enthusiastic then they're not into it!"

...is even nutsererer.

Repeat Ad Infinitum. Total begging the question fallacy. The proposed answer to the lack of a solution to the ridiculously slippery and absurd implications of affirmative consent is the complete non-answer of basically use the Force Luke! Just a restatement of the problem that was supposed to be addressed in the first place.