RE: Adopting Children of Another Race
February 7, 2018 at 8:32 pm
(This post was last modified: February 7, 2018 at 8:37 pm by Shell B.)
(February 7, 2018 at 6:51 pm)Anomalocaris Wrote:(February 7, 2018 at 6:46 pm)Shell B Wrote: That's precisely how I feel, but I've spent time in the "adoption community" online so to speak, and I see an awful lot of vitriol about it. I'm particularly interested in finding out what kind of impact it has on the adopted children, if any. I hear a lot about "oh, but their culture." I don't understand that noise. If you're raised in a certain place by certain people, that's your culture. And, no parent is fully in tune with their kids, particularly teens. It's not like teen and middle-age culture often aligns.
In my area, most of the kids up for adoption are Latino, black or a mixture of various ethnicities. I can't imagine skipping over any because of race. It seems like that's what some people would have you do, in order to preserve their "culture," and not treat them like "accessories." I don't get their reasoning. Maybe someone has a valid argument for this. I've yet to see it.
“Their” culture? They have no culture. Culture is something they acquire during their upbringing. They have not been brought up yet.
Yes, I understand that. I'm saying it's a criticism I hear about it. I believe their contention is that children should be brought up in the culture of their ancestors, as if anyone is doing that anyway.
(February 7, 2018 at 7:02 pm)Khemikal Wrote: I have enough trouble not strangling my own flesh and blood......I'd make a terrible adoptive parent. That said, I don't think that the shittiness of others is going to factor too prominently in the choice of a person who would be a good adoptive parent, or that it should. Normal circumstances, though. I guess if you lived in the heart of klan kountry it might not be a good idea to import a black kid into your white family?
I've only ever seen people of the adopted kid's heritage complain about this, so I'd be more worried about adopting a Chinese kid and living in Chinatown. That's the type of objection I'm specifically referring to, and do people think it adversely affects the kid. Actually, more specifically, what do kids brought up in families like this think?
(February 7, 2018 at 7:03 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: My 'peer' group has aged out of the time they'd consider adopting kids long ago. I'm aware of a few younger gay couples who've adopted but I just can't recall if any are interracial or not and I'd be profoundly annoyed if they were and anyone was hassling them about it. I know a couple who adopted a brother and a sister, but I've never met the kids so don't know about them (or really care, their bio parents were abusive dopers, their lives are infinitely better now). I know how badly they were wanted though from all I heard about how much they had to spend on lawyers to accomplish it.
Would the South Park episode that explores Butter's Hawaiian roots/culture/heritage be relevant to the topic ?
Maybe. I've never seen it. I'll have to check it out.
(February 7, 2018 at 7:05 pm)Hammy Wrote: I don't get it. Of course skin color doesn't matter. I think I'm not understanding. Do you mean it might affect them because other people would wrongly judge them?
Sort of. That, and do those children sometimes have negative feelings about it later in life? Do these opinions affect them? Do they themselves resent not having more of their racial heritage in their lives? Do they not care and are just happy to have a loving family? I'm curious about all of these things.
(February 7, 2018 at 7:10 pm)Antares Wrote: It shouldn’t matter what others think. What matters is the child knowing that you love her or him. Everything else should fall into place.
Ideally, yes.