Pennsylvania Church asks couples to bring in their AR-15's so they can bless the guns

[brewer]

My wife is catholic (cafeteria style) and ya, she has our dogs blessed also.

I wonder if it gives them a more lustrous coat?

Nah, just soothes the wife (that whole mental crutch thing). Don't do shit for the dogs, trust me.

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Heavenly Father, we humbly beseech Thee to bestow Thy blessings on these semi-automatic weapons.  May Thy spirit enter into them, that we may slay Thine enemies in just a few short minutes.  Give unto us full magazines, and may our firing pins always strike true.  And, while Thou art about it, Lord, see what You can do about getting us armour-piercing bullets, that we may be assured of shooting all the way through the over-stuffed backpacks of some of these teenagers.

Boru

Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch comes to mind.