So today at the bank................

[Wyrd of Gawd]

Why do you assume that a straight line is the best?  

And I don't think that the "they would stomp your ass" argument if a very good one.

Holy crap dude, that is nonsense. Nipples on men, how about that? That makes even less sense. 

You have a stupid delusional concept that "pretty" means design, and that is not the case in reality. 

Yep, now here is where you bring  up the obligatory "mysterious ways" bullshit.

I am sorry it bothers you that I don't buy your creation mythology, but that is your baggage not mine.

All mammals, male & female, have tits.  It's part of the basic initial design.  Whether a mammal becomes a male or female is determined after the development of the mammary glands.  If someone got energetic he could probably activate your tits to produce milk.  A baby probably wouldn't find the hair around your nipples appealing unless it was very hungry.