Quote:Poll: Voters Willing to Replace Obama with Someone Blatantly Brain-damaged
Historic Shift in Voter Sentiment
MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report) – Frustration with President Barack Obama has grown to the point where some voters are now considering replacing him with people who appear to be blatantly brain-damaged, according to a new poll released today.
The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, shows a significant number of Republican voters strongly agreeing with the statement, “Things have gotten so bad in this country, maybe it’s time to give someone who does not appear to be playing with a full deck a chance to fix things.”
The results of the poll are “unprecedented,” according to the University of Minnesota’s Davis Logsdon, who supervised the survey: “For the first time in our polling, voters seem to be willing to hand over the Presidency to people they would not normally trust to run a Radio Shack.”
The three biggest beneficiaries of the poll were Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn), Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX), and Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX), with Mr. Paul getting especially high marks for his statement that a dime was worth three dollars.
Gov. Perry said he was encouraged by the poll results, but added, “Nothing can really cheer me up on a day when one of my executions has been delayed.”
Meanwhile, Rep. Bachmann addressed a Tea Party rally, bemoaning the expiration of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: “I for one can tell you that Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell has been the key to many successful marriages.” Don't
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