Fuck, Shell. I’m so sorry. I lack the ability to find the right words. (Hugs)
My problems seem tiny now that I think of it.
I’m suddenly dealing with shit I thought was dead and burried, and all because the ex husband found out I have a boyfriend.
Then there’s that. I... J A C K of AF... have a... (cough) boyfriend. Gasp! You read that right. I’ve dated quite a bit since the ex husband and I split up. I’ve met a lot of awesome people. I actually dated people this year that for a moment called themselves my gf or bf at some point, much to my confusion and discomfort. I felt allergic to permanency. Allergic to constant companionship. I lacked the patience to put in the effort. It was weird that they’d even try when I was being so... well, standoffish, I guess. I wasn’t very good at picking them either, because I didn’t really care. I wanted to care. I just couldn’t. “Breaking up” seemed like a joke, because it never felt real to begin with. I’ve felt single for 3 years. Now I have an official boyfriend, one that I care enough to introduce as such, one who’s company is pleasant and leaves me wanting more, and one who doesn’t annoy the shit out of me. Maybe it’s because he’s a dad (and a damned good one at that), so he gets me. Maybe it’s that he’s freakishly smart, and we all know I’m into nerds. Maybe it’s that he can draw like a genius, and I dig artsy people. Maybe it’s that he’s so respectful and sweet, that he makes me feel like I actually deserve it and like I want to reciprocate. Maybe it’s his taste in music, because hot damn. Maybe it’s his values. His kindness to everyone. Everyone! He is simply the complete opposite of everything I’ve ever had. Everyone seems to have an opinion about my choice. Why him? He’s not what they expected for various reasons. People have been assholes to me, which... I mean, whatever, because they disapproved of my choice... but they have been rude about him to me. It makes me angry. He is such a good man and if they would have one conversation with him, just one, they would see what I see. Fuck people, man. I know what I want and what I don’t want anymore... and this fits. Maybe it will end soon. Maybe not. Thing is... I’m actually doing this. Like... the whole package. I’m not half assing it. Feels good, man.
My problems seem tiny now that I think of it.
I’m suddenly dealing with shit I thought was dead and burried, and all because the ex husband found out I have a boyfriend.
Then there’s that. I... J A C K of AF... have a... (cough) boyfriend. Gasp! You read that right. I’ve dated quite a bit since the ex husband and I split up. I’ve met a lot of awesome people. I actually dated people this year that for a moment called themselves my gf or bf at some point, much to my confusion and discomfort. I felt allergic to permanency. Allergic to constant companionship. I lacked the patience to put in the effort. It was weird that they’d even try when I was being so... well, standoffish, I guess. I wasn’t very good at picking them either, because I didn’t really care. I wanted to care. I just couldn’t. “Breaking up” seemed like a joke, because it never felt real to begin with. I’ve felt single for 3 years. Now I have an official boyfriend, one that I care enough to introduce as such, one who’s company is pleasant and leaves me wanting more, and one who doesn’t annoy the shit out of me. Maybe it’s because he’s a dad (and a damned good one at that), so he gets me. Maybe it’s that he’s freakishly smart, and we all know I’m into nerds. Maybe it’s that he can draw like a genius, and I dig artsy people. Maybe it’s that he’s so respectful and sweet, that he makes me feel like I actually deserve it and like I want to reciprocate. Maybe it’s his taste in music, because hot damn. Maybe it’s his values. His kindness to everyone. Everyone! He is simply the complete opposite of everything I’ve ever had. Everyone seems to have an opinion about my choice. Why him? He’s not what they expected for various reasons. People have been assholes to me, which... I mean, whatever, because they disapproved of my choice... but they have been rude about him to me. It makes me angry. He is such a good man and if they would have one conversation with him, just one, they would see what I see. Fuck people, man. I know what I want and what I don’t want anymore... and this fits. Maybe it will end soon. Maybe not. Thing is... I’m actually doing this. Like... the whole package. I’m not half assing it. Feels good, man.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
