[Serious] Please convince me gender is binary

[The Grand Nudger]

There has been a lot of discussion on it lately, and there's a lot of informed and actual people that struggle with gender. Perhaps I need an education in gender identity, But I only see gender as binary. I'm open to be convinced otherwise. Let me start with a statement, which I'm sure people will jump all over.

I define gender normalcy as that which functions according to its design. Our design is in our DNA as male or female.  Gender identity uses the same words and is thus binary. Is this a true statement? Elucidate me.

You define gender normalcy as what others call heteronormativity.  Since you do so, it's not surprising that you conclude as much, the conclusion being baked into the premise.  

Meanwhile, gender as a social construct evades binarism and any broad description of heteronormativity (since what is taken to be heteronormative in one society may not be taken to be so in another).

When you hear people discussing the notion that our gender system and preference for binarism may be unfounded, what they're suggesting is that while we do..yes, tell ourselves a story about heteronormativity and assume that this establishes our binarism, that only occludes the fact that we recognize in our lives and selves that this is an insufficient and innacurate representation of gender.  The very fact that we point out non normatives and call them "girly guys" for example..betrays any coherent description of what the heteronormativity is.  They are guys...they're very much likely to be very much like every other guy..but maybe they have long lustrous blonde hair that they tie up in a bow or satin ribbon? 

This, ofc, may actually be heteronormatively masculine in some other long hair satin bow loving culture.

What makes a person a girl, or girly? Or a guy, or guyish? Obviously not their genitalia, or we wouldn't even have a conceptual set for mannish women and effeminate men. If gender were determined by genitalia, than the mere presence of penis would be proof of a persons masculinity...but not even the staunchest of heteronormatives believes that. I know -alot- of girlish guys..how about you? Squemish, ready to surrender their houses to a spider, spend alot of money on product and time in the bathroom..may or may not be wearing just a touch of mascara....wouldn;t even shoot a motherfucker if I asked them too real nice.

You know the type.