I can cook. I lived alone for 5 years after I got out of the Navy. It ain't that hard, though it took me awhile to stop staring at cooking meat, making sure it didn't burn. My mom used to burn the living shit out of meat for fear of trichinosis...even if it was beef or chicken. I don't do anything fancy, just a few spices and call it good. No fauncy lasagna, though.
Even though I'm retired, I have no time for that kind of prep.
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If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.