My cab driver...... True story today....

[Brian37]

Or perhaps: "Don't project your criminal history on to me darling, some of us are law abiding citizens!" 

I didn't do it but really could have one up'ed her and said, "Whatever is under her seat is not mine."  But that would have gone too far.

I didn't think of it in at the time , but I should have followed it up with, " I wanted a ride in your cab, not a police car. It's much cheaper."