(April 2, 2019 at 10:23 am)bennyboy Wrote: I'd say full control means you will never get enraged, under any circumstance at all, even if someone is blocking your path or shouting obscenities at you or saying they feel "sorry for your family." Maybe that would be better. But I don't think it's reasonable to expect all instances of the human animal to be at that place.
There are a few who have that sort of control. You might be able to sort of get there through rigid discipline and strength of will. But most of the guys who have that sort of control were basically born with it, and the nurture that they experienced while growing up maintained it. It's largely a genetic attribute, like intelligence. In theory, a person with an IQ of 100 can learn anything thing that is understood by a person whose IQ is 150. Just more slowly, and with an iron will. If someone who has an IQ of 100 expects of themselves the standard of a person whose IQ is 150, they are going to feel like a failure. It's good to try to keep up with the IQ 150 guy, but they shouldn't expect to actually do it. A guy who beats himself up for not keeping up with a genius is always going to feel like a failure. It's the same with temperament. A few people have extreme control. Most don't.
Full control is something to aspire to. It's not something to beat yourself up about. You're not a failure. You tried to walk away. When your release valve was blocked, you smashed an inanimate object. That's actually not that big of a deal.
We do not inherit the world from our parents. We borrow it from our children.