When your self is expressed in a single webpage. . .

[Homeless Nutter]

https://www.healthyplace.com/personality...tic-supply

I can't imagine writing a better summary of myself than this person has.  It really ties all the loose ends together.

Reads like a good synopsis of the show Bojack Horseman. You might want to give it a look if you haven't yet, especially if you really feel you can relate to what the article describes. It's also a great show.

In my relentless search for self-diagnosis I've come across Sam Vaknin (the author of the article) before. He has a book and a number of Youtube videos on the subject,  which seem to be painting the same picture. He's a diagnosed narcissist himself and clearly spent a lot of time researching and thinking about his condition (which is probably typical of a narcissist), although I don't think he's got any formal background in mental health-care. What I've noticed is that he does try really hard to connect everything he's presumably been through to Narcissistic Personality Disorder, often explaining diametrically different, or even mutually exclusive patterns of behavior and thinking. Which might be correct, at least in some cases, but it also makes his descriptions very relatable. For example: 

The narcissist believes that, no matter what he does, he will always be forgiven, always prevail and triumph, always come on top.

But in the next paragraph:

With equal certitude, the more self-aware narcissist knows that he will squander this good fortune time and again - a painful experience best avoided.

So you can be fearless and unrealistically optimistic, or you can be suffering from paralyzing pessimism and fear of failure - you're a narcissist either way. If  you love yourself - you have NPD, if you hate yourself - you have NPD.

Many people have narcissistic traits, without having that particular disorder, especially that our media- and celebrity-obsessed society seems to promote and reward narcissistic behavior. On the other hand, I'm quite certain, that narcissism can mask itself as a variety of different conditions, in order for the narcissist to preserve a positive - or at least somewhat more charitable - self-image.