(July 3, 2019 at 9:19 am)Fake Messiah Wrote: # A Christian woman gets invited to her niece's lesbian wedding. At first, she is confused because she is a Christian and her faith doesn't allow her that but, at the same time, it's her niece so she consults her pastor/ priest and he affirms her doubts that she is not allowed to participate in that unnatural even.
But then as she keeps defying her family she gets dragged, against her own will, to the lesbian wedding. At first, the wedding seems normal, but only very shortly, because quickly its unnatural character comes to the surface. And, as the wedding goes on, its adherents behave more and more pagan by insulting God and invoking Baal and Moloch until it becomes fully Satanic when they bring out a statue of Baphomet and sacrifice virgins to it.
But then storms in her priest with a giant cross and his parish commandos (the ones all the secularists and Muslims were throwing fits about and even suing the church for forming its own parish militia). They quickly grab her and help her out of there. And just in the very last moment before a giant hell hole under that wedding hall opens up and swallows all the wedding attendees down to Hell.
# Local Catholic priest hears a guy confessing that he is molesting children and even keeps few kidnapped kids tied in his basement. The priest gives him three Hail Mary's and two Lord's prayers and then goes about his day. But then the secular police storms in with the clue that they know how there is a child molester in this parish. They question the priest did someone confess that crime, but the priest refuses to give answers so they put him in prison and then, as he refuses to admit anything, they put him in deeper depths of prison where he is helping other prisoners who see him as hero, but jailers are angry at the priest because they are actually imposing Stalinism and HillaryClintonism on the prisoners - yes that is a Deep State prison.
And it's more than the prison but whole Deep State facility where they launch their fake TV stations like CNN, MSNBC, print New York Times, print books on evolution and spherical Earth, etc. all preparing to throw down the government and prepare people for the arrival of Satan.
Then one as a priest is doing his daily chores in Deep State prison, he gets to handle corpses of MAGA people that were killed that day by the Deep State. As he is handling them he notices that there are twelve of them - the twelve martyrs. Now that they have been martyred for their Christianity they have magical powers so he quickly takes his MAGA hats and smuggles them to other prisoners. Each of these MAGA hats possesses magical powers from characters of the Bible: one MAGA hat gives its wearer super strength like Samson; another one gives walking on water; third healing; fourth turning water into wine; fifth flying, sixth walking on water, etc.
So now they are an army of the new 12 apostles and they not only take down that Deep State facility and broadcast out what it really is and finally all Christians learn the truth, but they establish a new Christian world council of the New 12 Apostles that now governs the whole world wearing magical MAGA hats.
Damn! I want some of what you're smokin'! That's some badass shit!
Disappointing theists since 1968!
