The Last Movie You Watched

[Rev. Rye]

Okay, back to the Legend of Chun-Li:

• Vega is apparently ugly enough to have to wear a mask. His actor just looks fine.
  
• And something I should have mentioned: Chun-Li's father is still alive.
  
• Something I should have pointed out: Michael Clarke-Duncan actually made a good Balrog. His performance is actually decent, and he even looks like Balrog (or at least what GIS tells me he looks like). Also, I just found out M. Bison, Balrog, and Vega have their names all switched up in Japan for some reason.
  
• Oh, man, looking for White Rose in a movie set in Asia... this won't end well. Yes, I know this isn't the same White Rose from Mr. Robot, but still, I can't go on treating it as I Can't Believe It's Not Michael Mann forever.
  
• So the cops actually have something to do, and it's to serve as backup for Chun-Li. And why are they the backup for her?
  
• And WHY did M. Bison implant his conscience into his daughter? And why is he looking for her? You'd think that someone building an evil empire in Bangkok would want to keep their conscience far away, and if he's building it for her, wouldn't it help if she was just as hard-hearted as him so she doesn't find some way to bring his whole Dr. Mabuse shit down?
  
• So, what does the Street Fighter tournament have to do with anything in this movie? And did Bison even mention it at all?
  
• And are they still pronouncing it "Rye-OO?" In 2009?
  

Well, this was better than last week's Deep Hurting Project film. Then again, Kiara the Brave is a pretty bloody high bar to clear for absolute shit.