joke time

[chimp3]

A well-to-do adventure junkie sees a hungry homeless man and suddenly feels guilty about anything. It's Christmas time and very cold on the street, he gets emotional thinking the time for a sacrifice, a gift that matches the dirty righteousness, has come. He approaches the homeless like a lamb going to slaughter, asking him if he wanted some hotdog, exposing a condom. The bum suddenly blew up in a fit, charging against the good Samaritan, "a one dollar hotdog, for Christmas, are you f ...king kidding me ? I take only ten or twenty dollar bills around this time, as my bottom line !" The scapegoat, apparently freaked out, just manages, "I am hot and this is my dog !"

Well, I just made it up. You know, a controversial screenwriter who never made it in Hollywood, though he did leave marks.

There once was a man who taught his asshole to talk. His abdomen would jiggle up and down as he farted out the words. It was a sound you could smell, you dig. Well he was a comedian so he worked his asshole into the act with him telling jokes and his asshole throwing it right back at him. Soon the asshole grew little pointy tooth-like grows and would chew through his pants and start talking all on its own! When he was drunk it would yell obscenities and say it wanted to be kissed like any other mouth. The man would yell at his asshole to shut up but the asshole just said, "In the end it will be you who shuts up." Soon after that the man started waking up with a substance like a tadpoles tail covering his mouth. This undifferentiated tissue finally took hold and he was unable to wipe it away. He was unable to speak and the asshole was clearly in control. You could see evidence of the man in the eyes for a while but not too long after that the eyes went dead.

Ever read Burroughs?