(October 20, 2011 at 10:50 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote:(October 20, 2011 at 4:24 pm)5thHorseman Wrote: In a partner/mate: intelligence(not right wing) and sense of humor with sarcasm and irony order of the day, and a nice rack.
Told you I wouldn't make it as your 'mate'.
1) Intelligence. If someone is booksmart, but lacks streetsmarts, I can handle that, and vice versa. You'd be surprised how they bleed over, especially in the internet age. I like to learn, and I like to be challenged by my friends and especially by my partners. Last man used to play little strategy games with me, or when I started school made little sex games out of my grades or reciting what I had learned. It was hot. I had a fuck-buddy who used to get into shouting arguments with me all the time over some stupid point of politics or whatever and you know what that turned into too. It's both a huge turn on, and a huge source of delight. I like people who might be working as waitresses but are incredibly insightful, and I like my friends who are doing complicated science-y shit with lasers and particle accelerators.
2) Curiosity. I can't understand people who aren't curious about the world. I think the friends who amuse me the most are the ones who ask questions all the time.
3) Creativity. Music...art...writing...even just a unique way of going about things. I would say to lover-man, "this girl's laugh is annoying me" and he'd say, "describe it to me...but do it by giving it a jello flavor." Off the wall things like that. Or hearing about my guy friends successfully ghetto-rigging something up in the woods - always entertaining not just because of the mechanics of it, but because guys have the most delightful enthusiasm about their successes. Or finding a way to make an old place/habit/task fresh and exciting.
4) Humor. If you can't make me at least smile, don't bother. If you make me laugh, I'll probably love you forever. If I can make you laugh, I'll just wet myself with happiness. Comedy, a sense of irony, sharp sarcasm, puns, long-winded jokes, funny faces, doesn't matter. I don't think most people realize at the time that some of the things they do are comedic gold, but I love it. I'm not a happy-all-day-long person - I struggle with anxiety problems and depression and sometimes anger - so to me being able to laugh and smile together is precious no matter how many times you share it. Also, I like to be silly and roughhouse and wrestle around and tickle with my friends, so if you can't even include physical humor you might as well roll over and give up.
5) Passion. We'll leave the sex part out of passion for the moment - that's obvious. I mean I like people who have a passion of their own. Music. Art. Gardening. Whatever. Something that makes them "them" outside of the friendship or relationship. It adds texture and dimension to their personality.
6) Adventure. I like exploring. I like scrabbling around creekbeds, I like driving or walking through town and checking the stores, I like seeing new places when I have the money to get there...I like trying new foods and being led into new things. People who get to walk the world and see and do and experience...they have my unwavering attention.
7) Improvement. I think one of the hardest things to do in life is recognize your foibles and change them. People who make efforts to do this gain instant respect in my eyes. Under this heading I'd put people who continue throughout their lives to become more skillful or knowledgeable. Apathy doesn't sit well with me.
8) Confidence. I don't have a lot of it. I can talk a lot of shit, and there are some things I know I'm good at or know a thing or two about, but I don't have a general lot of confidence in my person. I was raised in many ways to be plain and small, and ended up awkward, anxious and unsure with a constant fear of being found wanting, substandard and worthless. Something ElD said in chat today struck me - something about knowing deep down you are a good person, and it gives you confidence. I was told from a very early age that I wasn't, and if I wasn't told, it was implied. So people who have strength and surety in themselves for being good, and that this good is worthy of being valued and wanted...I admire it highly. I want to learn it. I like to compliment it. I enjoy watching it trip off your confident tongues. You are beautiful creatures on the other side of glass wall for me.
9) Patience. People who have the patience to deal with shit day in and day out are gods. People with the patience to be compassionate and empathetic. And guys who can be patient with me.
10) Communicators. I lump sincerity and honest in here. I've had both of those, but the person was unable to transmit them properly. Same for less than honest or sincere. I think if communication could improve, a lot of the bullshit was melt away.
Sweetheart..you have WAAAAYYYYY to many expectations..and I say this from experience.
With a list like this..you will be single for a LONG time.