joke time

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

After a long career, Seamus retires to a village in west Cork, where - with his unfailing kindness and gentle good humour - he quickly becomes established in the good graces of the community. After tending his bit of garden and chatting with the neighbours, he spends most of his afternoons at the local.  He reads the newspaper, plays draughts or dominoes with the other patrons and has three pints of Guinness.

Oddly, though, he orders the three pints all at once and has them brought to his table at the same time.  After a fortnight or so, the barman tells him, 'Seamus, I'd be more than happy to draw your pints one at a time, so you can have each one fresh.'

'Oh, no,' says the old fella, 'I could never do that.  You see, I have two sons.  One of them works the oil fields in the Middle East and the other's a merchantman on the high seas.  Things being how they are, we're hardly all together at once, so we made a pact.  Whenever one of us is on for drinking, he has a drink for himself and one for each of the others.  That way, wherever we are, it's as if we're all drinking together. So, the three pints all in one go.'

The barman thinks that's the sweetest, loveliest thing he's ever heard in his life. The story goes round the village like a shot.

Some time passes, and one afternoon, Seamus enters the pub looking a little down.  'Just two pints today, Mickey.'  Seamus sits by himself, not socializing, drinks his pints in silence, gets his hat and goes.  Word soon gets round and Seamus' cottage is deluged with flowers and condolence cards.

On his next visit to the pub, Seamus pulls the barman aside and asks, 'What the hell is going on with all the flowers and cards and the widow O'Doull bringing me a hot dish every day, Mickey?'

'Well, it's about your boy, Seamus. We noticed that you ordered just two pints instead of three. Was it the one on the seas or the one in the oil fields that you lost?'

'Lost?  I haven't lost either one.  The two pints are for the two lads.  My doctor told ME to give up drinking.'

OMG, that’s BRILLIANT!!!

Boru