RE: The Last Movie You Watched
June 7, 2020 at 12:37 am
(This post was last modified: June 7, 2020 at 12:38 am by Rev. Rye.)
This week in the Deep Hurting Project, Food Fight.
A month and a half ago, I wrote an article for Anglotopia about the Nazi Titanic film, which has one of the most bonkers production backstory I've ever heard for a film. This film has a production story that rivals it. It was originally conceived as the ad mascot equivalent to Wreck-it Ralph or Toy Story and was apparently the first film to use Motion Capture. It spent over a decade in varying degrees of production, and at one point, the hard drives containing all the animation were stolen, never to be recovered (although apparently, there was one Reddit thread where someone who claimed to be an animator on the film said the rooms containing the hard drives were under such high security that it had to have been intentionally erased). So, they had to restart from Square One, with a director who went around the animation rooms asking animators to make things 30% cooler, asked for more vulgar humour, and decided to voice a main supporting character. Eventually, the bank whose loans financed the film lost their patience and demanded a finished project, so they took what they had, converted it into something that looks a bit like a finished project if you kind of squint at it, and released it briefly in British theaters in 2012 because of contractual obligations, and then they released it direct to DVD everywhere else.
#2 favourite film of all time!
A month and a half ago, I wrote an article for Anglotopia about the Nazi Titanic film, which has one of the most bonkers production backstory I've ever heard for a film. This film has a production story that rivals it. It was originally conceived as the ad mascot equivalent to Wreck-it Ralph or Toy Story and was apparently the first film to use Motion Capture. It spent over a decade in varying degrees of production, and at one point, the hard drives containing all the animation were stolen, never to be recovered (although apparently, there was one Reddit thread where someone who claimed to be an animator on the film said the rooms containing the hard drives were under such high security that it had to have been intentionally erased). So, they had to restart from Square One, with a director who went around the animation rooms asking animators to make things 30% cooler, asked for more vulgar humour, and decided to voice a main supporting character. Eventually, the bank whose loans financed the film lost their patience and demanded a finished project, so they took what they had, converted it into something that looks a bit like a finished project if you kind of squint at it, and released it briefly in British theaters in 2012 because of contractual obligations, and then they released it direct to DVD everywhere else.
- 0:31: Well, that's the least underwhelming title sequence I've ever seen in an animated feature.
- 1:44: How does animation manage to look this convolutedly detailed and yet so lazy? Okay, I know why.
- 2:50: What the fuck was that? And why is there no stylistic unity within this city? It's not like these are different neighbourhoods like in Zootopia. And why does this city look nothing like an actual
- 3:15: So, he's on a fight with a giant rat and four pigs hairless hamsters practicing fake martial arts on top of a hot air balloon. Dafuq?
- 3:50: So, how do they stay in mid-air so fucking long? Is it a revival of the old "character doesn't know they're floating in midair until they look down" gag? Because the timing's way off and they still stay in midair for a few seconds after looking down and they don't all go down at once.
- 5:08: So, his sidekick is a talking piece of shit.
- 5:41: I hope this isn't what I think it is.
- 6:14: I never want to hear a word against the uncanny cat-people that populate the world of the 2019 Cats movie ever again. It can, in fact, be a hell of a lot worse.
- 9:03: And so wasteful...
- 9:50: He went through all the trouble of creating a giant piece of sky art of Dex proposing to Sunshine and she still doesn't get it.
- 10:55: what the everlasting fuck is he doing? Why is he walking like that? What the fuck is going on in Christopher Lloyd's career to make him do this?
- 12:12: For a film that's supposed to be showcasing all these advertising mascots, I'm noticing a distinct lack of their presence.
- 13:00: Funny thing, I'm planning on watching the 12 Angry Men soon, and thye went so far as to create a mock-up poster with proper parody names on the bottom. It's almost like the guy who put it in put more effort into this than the people who put this piece of shit out.
- 13:50: I can't help but notice that A) the talking piece of shit has a mouth like Mushmouth from Fat Albert, and B) What he says doesn't match up with his mouth at all.
- 16:14: And we have what looks like a cross between an ultrarealistic chocolate bunny and yet another talking piece of shit, this time shiny in anal juices, except this one is apparently a weasel.
- 17:57: I'll be damned! We get actual characters I recognise.
- 19:07: Wait, I just figured out, is the first piece of shit supposed to be a flying squirrel? Do the filmmakers even know the difference between rodents and fecal matter?
- 19:48: IS that a fucking lawyer-friendly version of "Livin' La Vida Loca?"
- 20:02: CASABLANCA! CASAFUCKINGBLANCA! MOTHERFUCKING CASABLANCA!
- 21:19: The fuck was that about?
- 22:57: Wow, that was a convenient milk spill. Didn't even seep into that rug or anything.
- 25:50: Well, that was conveniently contrived.
- 27:26: Goddam, that's a bad skin condition
- 28:50: Goddammit, we lose Alison Lohman's character in Drag Me to Hell to a poorly-timed backup and getting dragged to Hell and the shitweasel has to be pushed off and he SURVIVES?
- 30:54: Is that a [i]Parteiadler[/i] in front of the Brand X HQ?
- 31:49: Kicking a bunch of sharp objects into the air with a high-heeled sandal, that can't be a good idea.
- 37:31: Well, at least they're taking inspiration from other eras of German militarism with that Pickelhaube.
- 38:02: Why is there no sense of scale with that nose guy? Why does his size keep changing within the same fucking shot?
- 39:04: Addictive and toxic? Someone's getting their business destroyed. And please tell me that's not the voice of Wooldor Sockbat.
- 40:29: And so we finally have to deal with the supermarket during the day, and it matches absolutely nothing in the main film.
- 41:12: Could they have come up with a more repulsive model for the humans?
- 47:37: And to think that having a desirable mascot can actually screw with a product, like Erin Esurance, the fact that launched 1000 Rule 34 images. And approximately Zero new cases of people changing their insurance.
- 50:34: That's not a shredder.
- 50:50: La Marsellaise competing with the Nazi... FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! That Casablanca reference earlier wasn't just there. They're seriously ripping off this touching scene from the original and stripping it of any context that made this poignant?
To be fair, it's not like they had any actual refugees from the Nazis as part of this horseshit. - 57:10: So, it looks like the day is saved and... we still have 34 minutes left of this shit.
- 57:50: Those look more like caulk guns than whipped cream canisters.
- 58:25: also, Why the fuck did the hairless hamsters join Dex?
- 58:59: And they couldn't get their ketchup guns to work properly.
Given what I know about the V2 Rocket programme, it seems in character for ersatz Nazis to not think their weapons through. - 61:55: What the actual fuck is that midget singing about?
- 63:44: Shitweasel is turning into diarrhea.
- 63:59: I swear this tin foil construction thing reminds me of something, but I don't know what.
- 65:52: Note to self, jelly donuts make shit percussion.
- 74:52: And thus the lizard man became an ABDL.
- 78:29: So, Christopher Lloyd was a robot all along?
- 78:54: Exactly!
- 80:31: And if Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo made the project, I'd have two films where women with penises for noses make an appearance.
- 82:04: Please, I just watched all of Drawn Together and they did this joke a Hell of a lot better.
- 82:29: Why don't I do that with my fisherman's cap?
(June 3, 2020 at 5:00 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: ‘Taxi Driver.’ Holds up.
Boru
#2 favourite film of all time!
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
![[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/yxR97P23/harmlesskitchen.png)
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
