One of those books that might be considered worse than even Camp of the Saints: Norman Boutin's Empress Theresa.
Part 1 of a 5-part overview of the book:
The writing is shitty, with the opening paragraph being "" I’m Theresa, the younger daughter of Edward and Elizabeth Sullivan, and I hope it’s not bragging to say I was cute as heck at age ten. Everybody in the family said so. I was the princess in the Sullivan clan of Framingham, Massachusetts because besides being cute I was a whiz in school and had a good disposition. All the relatives expected great things from me. "
And the things she does in the book are jaw-dropping, everything from wrecking the world economy and forcing any motor vehicle with the lawyer who's suing her to fail as soon as she enters it, to evacuating the State of Israel into a newly-created island shaped like the Star of David, to getting rid of winter, nighttime, and the North Pole, to getting to skip a grade because of the volume in her hair (I wish I was making that last one up.) It's a bit south of 500 pages of "tell, don't show" prose. Plus, he's so averse to criticism that he once responded to a bad review on Amazon by starting an argument in the comments that only ended when the thread reached its post limit. Said post limit: 10,000.
Also, there's a Naruto fanfic I once spent a summer dissecting called "Naruto Veangance Revelaitons." It's about 23 words shorter than the first Harry Potter book, has more sex scenes than sentences without a major spelling error, has a main character with a harem includes his mother, newborn daughter, and the Naruto character who's genetically identical to both of them (to say nothing of the scene where she mutilates her vagina and he fucks the wound), and here's how he describes himself:
Part 1 of a 5-part overview of the book:
The writing is shitty, with the opening paragraph being "" I’m Theresa, the younger daughter of Edward and Elizabeth Sullivan, and I hope it’s not bragging to say I was cute as heck at age ten. Everybody in the family said so. I was the princess in the Sullivan clan of Framingham, Massachusetts because besides being cute I was a whiz in school and had a good disposition. All the relatives expected great things from me. "
And the things she does in the book are jaw-dropping, everything from wrecking the world economy and forcing any motor vehicle with the lawyer who's suing her to fail as soon as she enters it, to evacuating the State of Israel into a newly-created island shaped like the Star of David, to getting rid of winter, nighttime, and the North Pole, to getting to skip a grade because of the volume in her hair (I wish I was making that last one up.) It's a bit south of 500 pages of "tell, don't show" prose. Plus, he's so averse to criticism that he once responded to a bad review on Amazon by starting an argument in the comments that only ended when the thread reached its post limit. Said post limit: 10,000.
Also, there's a Naruto fanfic I once spent a summer dissecting called "Naruto Veangance Revelaitons." It's about 23 words shorter than the first Harry Potter book, has more sex scenes than sentences without a major spelling error, has a main character with a harem includes his mother, newborn daughter, and the Naruto character who's genetically identical to both of them (to say nothing of the scene where she mutilates her vagina and he fucks the wound), and here's how he describes himself:
Quote: i a 13 years old and have just come to the town. i am 6" tall and hav dark blue hair dat looks like justin beibers hiar (i dont liek him tho FUCK HIM HE SUCKS ALL MODERN MUSIC FUCKING SUCKS). i am very muscula r and have 28' around biceps and hiuge pecx and then i also have a huge dick its almost 2 fet long and realy fat plus i cum a lot ok)Add to it his being profoundly against: Fans of Harry Potter, Western Animation, and modern music; religious people (especially Christians); women who aren't totally submissive; gay males (he publicly disembowels a guy for admiring his penis); fat people; capitalists; the mentally ill; his stepfamily; and... Croats, and you get something that would probably be the worst novel ever written if it was actually published as one.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
![[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/yxR97P23/harmlesskitchen.png)
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
