The Last Movie You Watched

[Rev. Rye]

So, this week, the Project's going to come a little early. After noticing that Breaking Wind was going off Prime in about a week, I decided to check everything on TVTropes' So Bad It's Horrible list to see if I missed anything that was about to leave the platform. I found one: Wesley Snipes' Gallowwalkers, a western zombie movie. Okay, apparently, it might have been extended, but I'm going to do it anyway

• Man, that head looks fake as shit!
  
• Also, it's less than five minutes in and, aside from Snipes' translating the "no more room in Hell" spiel from Dawn of the Dead into Old West English, I have no idea what the fuck is going on.
  
• And why is that guy standing on the train tracks? 
  
• 
  And, seriously, that joke aside, why are there three random guys dressed like The Spanish Inquisition with their lips sewn shut?
• Is this an attempt at aping Sergio Leone? He usually at least had awesome music and not this understated shit. And when the stand off ends with someone shooting someone else,
  
• I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS WORKS! Wesley Snipes is pulling something in the back of the other guy's torso, which eventually leads to a huge gash forming in his neck, causing an obscene amount of blood to gush out and all of a sudden, he's torn his head and spine off?
  
• So, wait, were the Spanish Inquisition supposed to be zombies? Also, I'm not sure that removing the guy's head while keeping his spine intact and fully attached is quite equivalent to removing the head or destroying the brain.
  
• Fuck. That weathervane shot IS an homage to Sergio Leone, isn't it?
  
• And the score's even ripping off the theme to Fistful of Dollars now!
  
• Just a note: when a preacher claims to have been a sinner, in the strict past case, he's probably more full of shit than usual.
  
• And what the fuck is that supposed to be? The visible muscles of a flayed man?
  
• And why did the girl who looks like David Bowie in Labyrinth just kill a girl who looks like herself?
  
• Why is he even telling this story about the hooker who I think is supposed to be his mother?
  
• And one of the goons of the cult has a helmet that makes him look like a hybrid of the Knight Who Says Ni and The Black Knight for some reason? 
  
• So, what we have here is a Western with zombies with makeup worthy of Troma and some bizarre costumes. This movie should be up my alley, but I stopped finding anything worth talking about after 25 minutes or so.
  
• Also, why are there so many white people wearing dreadlocks? 
  

You know what, fuck it, later in the week, I may spend a bit of time on some short and shitty kids' movie to restore a bit of balance. Maybe Dorbees: Making Decisions. And then, I think next week, I'll take advantage of YouTube keeping Going Overboard free with ads and take on the very first Adam Sandler film (and, shockingly, the second of only two movies starring him that are legitimately Deep Hurting Project-worthy).