Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

[onlinebiker]

I like that fedora!

I know a guy who served in the USAF back in the '60s. In the barracks at the base where he was stationed, there was a Captain (Zero-3, in the USAF) who was just a shit of a Martinet. He was all over the place with chickenshit complaints about the cleanliness of the barracks. I met a guy like that in the Navy, fwiw. Anyway, the guys decided one day to get back at him for his attitude. They cleaned a toilet up extra-well, and squeezed a "turd" of creamy peanut butter and let it drop into the bowl. When he went into the head on inspection, saw it and asked, "Is this what I think it is!?", one of the enlisted guys reached, in a took a swipe off it, tasted it, and said, "Yes, sir, it is!".   Guy got all pale and left. 

Now, my Navy story. The executive officer on my second ship was one of the above-mentioned Martinets. He'd come down into the (sleeping) compartment for an inspection, and was a complete bitch about it. DUST!   Officers have a different mess area , and someone sneaked in and left a steaming turd on his seat in the officer's mess. A real "mess", indeed!

"Officer Country" on a USCG 210 Reliance class has in one passageway that had hatches at both ends - essentially making it a blind alley with all (except Capt) officer staterooms. One ship in particular had a joker that kept leaving turds in the passageway - and became known as "The Phantom Shitter" - who is as far as I know still on the loose. At one point some wag put a TP dispenser on suction cups on the bulkhead......l

The command was not amused.