joke time

[The Valkyrie]

An elderly lady with a thin, quavering voice rings up the front desk at the local hospital and asks, 'I was wondering if it's possible to inquire about one of your patients. Her name is Miss Emma Rose Chessler, and she's in Room 306.'

The young lady at the desk wants to be helpful and says, 'Certainly, ma'am. Let me just put you on hold for a bit while I check.' Good as her word, she comes back on after a few minutes and says, 'I have some wonderful news for you! Miss Chessler's condition has stabilized. Her blood pressure has returned to normal, her electrolytic balance has settled down. It seems to have just been a mild case of angina, and she's due to be released tomorrow.'

'Oh, thank you SO much, my dear! That puts my mind at ease. God bless you for being so helpful.'

'Quite all right. If I may ask, is Miss Chessler you daughter, or perhaps your granddaughter?'

'Neither,' answers the old woman. 'I'M Emma Rose Chessler, I'M in Room 306, and nobody up here tells me a fucking thing.'

Boru

You have to keep the patients guessing.

I once told a patient he was leaving the hospital in a couple of hours, and then sent a priest in...