Although I must admit, that there are kinds of liberal Christianities that even I could see myself in them. Like the Christianity that Nick Offerman preaches:
Quote:Our coupling continued with an intense regularity for months and years. Mm. Ahem. If any of you are still young enough to get involved in this kind of heated tryst, I cannot recommend it highly enough. The secret ingredients are sinful anticipation and Christian guilt. Every night she would come over after teaching dance to six-year-olds, sweaty in her leotard, and we would kneel on the living room floor, directly beneath my soundly sleeping parents’ bedroom. Because, again, being a born-again couple is the perfect cover for getting away with any iniquities you care to indulge in. (“Mom, Dad, Lynette and I are going to Bible camp for three weeks in Wisconsin.” “Okay, sounds good. Gosh, Ric, we sure did something right with this guy. Bible camp!” We would then go to camp, where we would participate in camp activities, like the Jesus log-roll, the Jesus potato-sack race, the Jesus hammer throw, then we’d go sixty-nine in the woods for two hours. Get saved. It’s genius.)
Every night, kneeling there on my mother’s carpet, face-to-face, we would pray for the strength to abstain from the juicy copulation we so cravenly craved, all the while drinking deep of each other’s musk and withstanding the trembling of our lascivious flesh. Our prayers were so sincere and devout that they often elicited tears (not to mention a rather unyielding boner). We would cry. We would pray. And then we would fuck. We would scrump and munch upon each other with ravenous, animal abandon. We did every unholy thing we could possibly think of to each other, on every inch of every piece of furniture.
https://books.google.com/books?id=R_FvDwAAQBAJ&pg=PA88
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
