The Last Movie You Watched

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project, Game Therapy. It's a movie from Italy that managed to bomb so hard on its official release that it was denied a DVD release at first and only got one because fans of an Italian YouTuber named Mighty Pirate started a petition demanding they release it so he can review it. What's surprising is that someone took the time to give it an English dub so schmucks like me can look at it and not have to bother looking at subtitles.

• Well, that lip-sync is absolute shit. I can totally believe Italian T.J. Kincaid sounds like he has an old baritone voice.
  
• I make video games because I want to control the world?
  
• No dictatatorship of the masses. Just a dictatorship of a guy who looks like T.J. Kincaid.
  
• Johnny? I'm back from a long day of... I'm sorry, it's been over a decade since I saw Crystal Skull and I don't remember what Cate Blanchett did in that movie, only she looks a Hell of a lot like the mom in this movie.
  
• You haven't gone to work in two days and that's supposed to be a sign of a deep depression? Damn, Italian bosses must be slave drivers.
  
• ADHD isn't a disease, it's just a disorder according to the DSM.
  
• L-R is Real Life? I can only assume that this is just something lost in translation from the original Italian. Like literally all the emotion in these dub voices.
  
• She took her top off, went on the roof and swum in the pool? Man, I wish I was watching that movie.
  
• Oh, look, it's another movie about virtual reality that's so good playing it looks and feels like living real life. Lemme guess, he has to get inside the game to save his friend and beat the bad guy? It's not like this is a plot that's been done to death. 
  
• The game works in one dimension at a time?
  
• The game can not onlu BURN YOUR FUCKING SYNAPSES, but doesn't give you another fucking life?
  
• It's much better than the real world. The ancient world doesn't look like the Middle East.
  
• You can feel the dirt with the fingers you don't even have?
  
• Is it weird that these video game moves don't really look that impressive? 
  
• This kid really hates his friend. Introducing him to this video game world that's supposed to be this amazing and then giving him the catch that if he fails, he can never get back, and then thrusting him into a world where he has to stay alive in a sniper fight for two minutes when he can barely concentrate, not to mention giving him almost no time to prepare.
  
• Why are we talking about our parents' sex lives? Because there's not much to these characters and literally everything else would be more interesting. 
  
• "It's all about the bitches, it's all about the bitches." What a hugely successful rap song this must be. 
  
• Wait, isn't this supposed to be therapy? Why is he slagging off reality when he's supposed to be his de facto therapist?
  
• Why do you need the console? Because the plot says so. 
  
• You use superheroes so you don't feel? Someone's clearly never read All-Star Superman.
  
• At least you can control the game? Not all the time. Sometimes, the AI's smarter than you. 
  
• You want to focus on your own lifeshit?
  
• Your last opportunity to take the test? They limit you to a certain number of attempts to  pass that important test?
  
• Americans don't turn their back on you when you need help? I'm going to go out on a limb and say you don't know jack shit about the Republican Party. It's sort of like Berlusconi, except that when they say something patently absurd, you know they're dead serious.
  
• Whaddaya know, the story about therapy was bullshit after all.
  
• And so he ends up hooked to the game system for the rest of his life.
  
• The universe can surprise itself? I don't think that's what the uncertainty principle means, dude.
  

And next week in the Project, Tentacolino, the third (and, as far as I know, last animated film about the Titanic) and probably the most batshit.