The right way to be and the wrong way to be

[Belacqua]

Do you have an ideal set of behaviors/inclinations that you strive to perform/live up to? And what are some behaviors/inclinations that annoy you and indicate that the offending person is an inferior sort of person?

Excellent opening post! Thanks for posting it.

We spend so much time here talking about how other people are bad, it's nice to see a post that prompts me to think about how I might be better. 

(Everyone knows Thomas Nagel's famous paper "What is it Like to Be a Bat?" He posits that bats have an inner world of experience and response that is very different from that of a human. We can never really know what that inner world is like. I've often thought that someone should write a book "What is it Like to Be a Good Person?" Because I think that a genuinely good person would also have an inner life that is different from mine, and which I can never experience. It would be worth imagining what it would be like, though.) 

The "right" behaviors/inclinations, I think, would be having good taste in music, 

Here of course we have to be careful, because people often use "good taste" to just mean "the same taste as mine." But I think there is a solid case to be made that some music (and novels, and movies, etc.) has a negative influence in the world, and that good people will gravitate toward cultural productions which are more positive. 

Every song, poem, movie, etc., rests on an ideological foundation. It may not be obvious, but it's true. The listener absorbs the subtext of the song along with the entertainment value, so that it functions as propaganda. Someone with a head full of this propaganda will be less of a good person -- the contents of our brains is just what we are, and if the contents are pro-stupidity, pro-fascism, pro-cruelty, then that's what we are. 

So if that's what "good taste in music" means, then I agree that a good person will have good taste. 

eating food very quickly (I have better things to do than stuff food down my throat), 

This depends on the context, surely. If you have people waiting for you, then sure, keep up the pace. But some meals are meant to be enjoyed with friends at an unhurried speed. If the chef has worked hard to create something wonderful, then wolfing it down will be an insult to her and a missed opportunity for pleasure for oneself. 

knowing how to play an instrument (or multiple instruments), 

I'd say this falls under the general category of enriching our cultural understanding. Like to appreciate great athletes, it helps if you were once a so-so athlete. The same with music -- knowing a little bit about playing greatly improves our appreciation of those who do it well. 

not taking shit from anyone (if it can be helped), 

Yes, if this means just walking away. If it means that we take it as an excuse to give shit back, then I don't think so. Way too many people say "I'll treat you well unless you're an asshole, and then I'll be an asshole right back." It's way too easy to justify being an asshole. 

In fact not being an asshole is just a good thing. Other people don't control my behavior. 

cultivating a healthy sense of detachment from the things you love (you can be somewhat attached, just not to the point of being overly sentimental about things),

This is somewhat tricky for me, because in a way I think that loving something means that you are very much "attached" to it. 

But I agree that sentimentality is shallow. 

knowing when to give up, 

Absolutely. This is wisdom.

being a satisfactory sexual partner, 

Yes, because good qualities in bed are the same as good qualities out of bed: generosity, patience, creativity, empathy. 

condemning people who make loud noises, being comfortable with your natural unwashed self, etc.

People who intentionally make unnecessary loud noises are inconsiderate, self-centered, and thick-headed. 

I'd say there's nothing wrong with being a bit dirty until it gets to the point that it's similar to making a loud noise -- if it bugs the people around you then you're not being considerate enough. 

In general I'd add that a good person wants to put as little negativity into the world as he can. The ideal would be to leave positivity in one's wake.