Anarcho-capitalist libertarianism

[FlatAssembler]

An oxymoron and a half. Libertarian means far more than "small government", and in any case, I'd be hard pushed to find a small government way to implementing socialism. You chuck the ideas of freedom that come with Libertarianism out of the window when you append the word "socialist".

A libertarian is a Republican who wants legal edibles at his same-sex marriage reception, and leaves a vending machine outside his front door on Halloween with a note that says, "Trick or treat, you little shits."

I must admit I do not understand your analogy. Libertarians are almost by definition pro-same-sex-marriage. Some libertarian politicians in the US, though, voted against the law that would legalize same-sex-marriage nation-wide on the grounds that they are against federalism (does not make a lot of sense to me, I think that this goes precisely the opposite of the idea of human rights: rights of the states are not human rights, they are rights of the governments, which, in my opinion, should not be protected), but that's not because they are against same-sex-marriage per se.