An 85 year old man goes to his doctor and asks for a complete physical. The doctor draws blood, takes a urine sample, checks the man's heart, O2 levels, blood pressure - the works. The man asks if anything was left undone.
The doctor answers, 'We, we could do a sperm count, but at your age...' The man interrupts and says, 'Doctor, when I said a complete physical, that's exactly what I meant!' So, the doctor hands him a glass jar, tells him to go home and bring back a semen sample the next day.
When the man returns, the jar is clean and empty. The doctor asks why, and the man says, 'Well, first I tried with my right hand. No luck. Then I tried with my left hand - still nothing. My wife tried with her right hand, then her left, nothing. Then she tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out - still nothing. So we called the woman next door. She came over and tried with both hands, then her armpit, then the back of her knee. You see the results.'
'Wait,' says the doctor. 'You asked your neighbour??'
'Yup. And none of us could get this damned jar open!'
Boru
The doctor answers, 'We, we could do a sperm count, but at your age...' The man interrupts and says, 'Doctor, when I said a complete physical, that's exactly what I meant!' So, the doctor hands him a glass jar, tells him to go home and bring back a semen sample the next day.
When the man returns, the jar is clean and empty. The doctor asks why, and the man says, 'Well, first I tried with my right hand. No luck. Then I tried with my left hand - still nothing. My wife tried with her right hand, then her left, nothing. Then she tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out - still nothing. So we called the woman next door. She came over and tried with both hands, then her armpit, then the back of her knee. You see the results.'
'Wait,' says the doctor. 'You asked your neighbour??'
'Yup. And none of us could get this damned jar open!'
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
