The Last Movie You Watched

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep  Hurting Project, live from The Docklands (at least as far as my ISP knows), is Bless the Child, the shit film that Kim Basinger decided would somehow be a good follow-up to her Oscar-winning turn in L.A. Confidential. And, apparently it's also A) a shitty religious movie and B) a shitty autism movie.

• Well, this is a good sign. The first bit of dialogue is a woman preaching to Kim Basinger.
  
• Hmm, it's surprising to see a movie that's so pro-Catholic include the heroine tell her sister she should have had an abortion.
  
• Being able to learn language and maybe even some basic emotions are "one of the lucky ones" for autism?
  
• Seeing Cody bang her head makes me wonder if she grew up to be Harry's mistress from The Conversation who banged her head all the time when she was a kid.
  
• This girl seems to be way too instinctual in her eye contact to be believably autistic. Or is this just an example of girls learning to mask their symptoms earlier than guys?
  
• Constantly spinning large objects as a symptom of autism? That's a new one to me.
  
• Okay, so she's telekinetic now.
  
• Eric Stark seems like he's supposed to be a cross between L. Ron Hubbard and Kirk Cameron. And with what I know from later, maybe Aleister Crowley (or at least the theme park version thereof).
  
• Cody seems to be a bit too serene in this noisy environment.
  
• So, all Cody has to do is cradle that mourning dove in her arms while she's rocking back and forth and she can raise it from the dead?
  
• Jenna? There's only one person in this whole fucking city with that name! It's not like one of the most famous porn stars has that name, or even the leading lady of one of the top rated sitcoms of the year.
  
• Please fucking tell me that the cops aren't dumb enough to not notice that every single one of these victims has this bizarre occult symbol branded/tattooed onto their skin.
  
• And how is an occult motive harder to gain a conviction?  Fun Fact: The McMartin Preschool trials just narrowly avoided a conviction, and apparently, it was on the grounds that they couldn't figure out who raped who. But they apparently accepted the bizarre shit (things like the ACTUAL FUCKING WITCHCRAFT and kids being flushed down the toilet) at face value. People are fucking stupid is what I'm saying.
  
• So now she's averting her eyes?
  
• And, just as I suspected, the New Dawn is basically Scientology with some Hollywood Satanism mixed in. 
  
• So, what exactly does "the opposite of religion" mean?
  
• So, autism makes you the messiah?
  
• Huh. Street kids don't give a shit about money. Who'd have guessed?
  
• Eric Stark really just wants to be Palpatine here doesn't he?
  
• You'd think he'd have led with the whole "I took your bullets" thing. 
  
• Nice to see them add those couple of shots of the fire burning on the underside of the car. At least they cared enough to make it make sense to blow up in the middle of falling off the bridge.
  
• I'm sorry, Eric, I thought you said you wanted to ease this guy's pain. And not subject him to one of the most painful causes of suicide known to man. 
  
• Also, he just lit a match after dousing himself with gasoline. How aren't even the vapors catching fire?
  
• Crap, he's basically doing the temptations in the wilderness with this autistic kid, isn't he?
  
• There were still druids in the 16th century?
  
• So, guess who's in the big Satanic ceremony: a defaced Christ statue, revelers, goths, punks, men in cloaks, random ass-bones, and CGI demons. If there was a Satanism bingo card, all we'd need is black metal and we'd almost certainly get a bingo.
  
• I don't even know what this guy who I think looks like his name should be Spike, why it looks like he's chasing Cody, or why actually looking at her makes him back off. All I know is the movie's over.
  

Next week, I don't know for sure, but if Dylan Dog: Dead of Night is still on Tubi, I'm taking that on next week.