Being bullied makes you feel helpless and that's a sucky way to feel. There was some bullying and abuse at home but none in my early years with neighborhood kids or at school...in fact I have great memories through fifth grade. The summer that I turned 11 we moved to my dad's hometown. Recently someone called the town 'wretched' and I can't think of a better word to describe it.
It was a small town, about 3K people, and everyone knew everyone if they weren't also related. The friend groups had been established since they were tots. I was also behind on my Catholic education which was an issue because everyone had been in Catholic school since 1st grade. I just didn't fit and would never fit. Some of the bullying was minor and some so bad as to have nearly been run down by some older girls with the car they were in. It was a beatdown every damn day.
My mother was no help because I didn't fit her mold either. Dad's fix for things was if someone messed with you, just punch 'em in the nose. Well, I was tiny and fist fighting wasn't really a great option for me. I was told that the boy who chased me home on his bike and ran into the backs of my legs did it because he liked me. Great - an 11 year old abusive relationship. That set me up for some major failures.
I left that town in my early 20s. It's not easy, I know that but it's what I needed to do. Get away from those people. There are a couple I stay in loose contact with but mostly I left that town as far behind me as I could.
As I have moved around the country the people I allow into my life have been few. I don't trust easily. I found ways to entertain myself and have become a pretty content introvert.
I hope you are able to see your way out of your situation.
It was a small town, about 3K people, and everyone knew everyone if they weren't also related. The friend groups had been established since they were tots. I was also behind on my Catholic education which was an issue because everyone had been in Catholic school since 1st grade. I just didn't fit and would never fit. Some of the bullying was minor and some so bad as to have nearly been run down by some older girls with the car they were in. It was a beatdown every damn day.
My mother was no help because I didn't fit her mold either. Dad's fix for things was if someone messed with you, just punch 'em in the nose. Well, I was tiny and fist fighting wasn't really a great option for me. I was told that the boy who chased me home on his bike and ran into the backs of my legs did it because he liked me. Great - an 11 year old abusive relationship. That set me up for some major failures.
I left that town in my early 20s. It's not easy, I know that but it's what I needed to do. Get away from those people. There are a couple I stay in loose contact with but mostly I left that town as far behind me as I could.
As I have moved around the country the people I allow into my life have been few. I don't trust easily. I found ways to entertain myself and have become a pretty content introvert.
I hope you are able to see your way out of your situation.
I'm your huckleberry.
