At 33 years of age, I am being bullied and tired of it.

[AkiraTheViking]

This sentence really hits home for me.  So often I find myself internalizing all the shit that goes through my head.

Yeah, it's extremely taxing to always have to go through mind loops to just be "normal"

You made the right move letting some of that out here. One option you could try is making a blog, and yeah it's likely it might never get any views but just typing everything out can be very cathartic.   I used to have a burner Twitter account where I would just vent.

I am trying to rebrand my tumblr as an art portfolio. They often let you have more than one connected to one account so I could start another.

What kind of dogs do you have?, I have a Labradoodle.  Have you posted them in the pets thread?

Aww Labradoodles are cute fuzzballs.

I have 2 the oldest will be 11 this year, his name is Rocky and he is a Rottweiler/Pothound mix and the other is 5, his name is Zeus and he is a German Shepard/Pitbull mix. No I havent post pics of them on here as yet, I don't think.

Don't worry about New Zealand yet, just concentrate on getting out of that neighborhood, it sounds really bad, like if if you moved to a random location it would almost certainly be better. Watch out for yourself.

I agree, sounds like time for a geographic fix. You may have to take a job that you don't like at first but it sounds better that your current situation.

Been trying hard to do so. I don't even care if I get little free time, so long as I get a job. But unfortunately I rarely get called for interviews and even then so I rarely get callbacks. And I have 5 passes including Maths and English and a Degree in graphic arts. I'm applying to all jobs including groceries and food joints.